In the second part of our Offseason Trade Chronicles (check Part I while you’re at it), me and my bro Fish took the time to analyse the moves made by the Phoenix Suns in the off-season.

Once Amare Stoudemire announced his intention to sign with the Knicks, Phoenix worked out a token sign and trade deal where they got a future pick and, more importantly, a hefty trade exemption.

The Suns then used said exemption to get Josh Childress from Atlanta (via Olympiakos) for another token S&T (a future 2^nd round pick) and then sent Leandro Barbosa to Toronto for Hedo Turkoglu.

I’ll take a look at the Childress deal first cause it’s easier. I’ve been a fan of his ever since his Stanford days – while I do think he got overvalued in the 2004 draft (in hindsight, the Hawks probably should have made the same picks the other way around – J-Smoove at 6 and Childress at 17) I still rate his defensive abilities very highly, and he can contribute offensively as long as you don’t rely on him. I wanted the Warriors to use our full MLE to get him (which the Suns ended up paying) and thought we had a legit shot since he’s from the Bay Area.

That all said, how does he fit into Phoenix? Answer – like a glove. Ever since Raja Bell left Phoenix, the Suns haven’t had a genuine perimeter stopper for the likes of Kobe, Brandon Roy, Joe Johnson etc. (I firmly believe that had B-Roy been 100% fit last year, Portland would have beaten the Suns in the playoffs). Grant Hill did a decent job on Kobe in the WCF last year, but the dude’s 38. He can only do so much.

Childress is that perimeter stopper. He can still play lockdown D on almost any guard in this league. Given how tough the Euro leagues can get, I’m sure playing a few years away from the NBA won’t have killed his game. I suspect that he may become the starting SF in the Valley of the Sun, with Hill moving to the bench.

While there is a school of thought that Phoenix probably overpaid a bit (considering Atlanta’s glut of wing players, they probably wouldn’t have matched any offers) I’d have to say that this is a pretty sweet deal for all involved.

The Hedo trade is a bit more complex. On the surface of things it makes reasonable sense – Barbosa’s minutes were heading south in Phoenix, and given Toronto seriously need some attacking punch (along with defense, rebounding and divine intervention) getting a piece like him back for Hedo (who fast became Public Enemy No.1 in Toronto) has to be seen as a fair deal for the Raptors. Meanwhile, the Suns get a guy who can play four positions, spread the floor and gives them another attacking threat. Sounds all good right?

Then you look a little closer and the deal makes less sense.

Hedo’s best skill as a basketball player is his ability to create shots both for himself and others. However this comes with a caveat – he needs the ball in his hands to be effective. He was most useful in Orlando playing the point forward role. When Toronto tried to use him as a spot-up shooter, he failed.

In Phoenix, however, it just so happens that the PG is a bloke by the name of Steve Nash. One of the most unselfish players in the game, yes, but a guy who needs the ball to make everyone around him better.

Maths equation time – you have two guys who need the ball all the time to be effective, there’s only one ball, what happens? You see what I mean here.

Plus, when he can’t play to his strengths Hedo’s weaknesses come to the fore. As a starting power forward he’s practically useless, since he can’t rebound or play anything resembling defense – particularly problematic in Phoenix when your only big man with any inclination to do either is Robin Lopez. As we learnt in Toronto, he’s prone to having a sook if things don’t go his way.

To be honest with you, I think the Suns made a big mistake with the Hedo trade. The only way I can see him being effective is if they play him in a sixth man role while Nash rests – however that cuts into Goran Dragic’s role and minutes as well and the Suns clearly see him as a future star.

I personally think Phoenix misjudged the off-season. Once Amare left, they had two options. Either:

a)     Pursue an Al Jefferson/David Lee type player with the Amare exemption – a guy who can come in and fill the role Amare did, while being better in some regards (rebounding for DLee, offensive post play for Al Jeff).

b)     If they failed with a, trade Steve Nash to a contender (cause after all he’s done for Phoenix it’s the least they can do – you don’t think Orlando would bite on a Nash+JRich’s expiring for Jameer+VC’s expiring trade?) and start a full-bore rebuild around Dragic and Lopez.

As we know, the Suns failed with A (personally, I’m stunned they didn’t even seem to make a play for Jefferson or Lee) but they didn’t have the balls to go through a rebuild right now. Hence, a half-arsed move like the Hedo trade. This deal doesn’t save Phoenix now – it certainly doesn’t make them title contenders in the stacked West after losing Amare – and it’ll cripple them in a couple of years when Nash retires/goes to play out his career in Miami or another contender and they’re unable to move Hedo’s deal.

In the NBA, unless you’re the Lakers (and even they’re gonna face it once Kobe, Fisher and Pau retire) rebuilding is an inevitability. Either you willingly put your team through it, or it’s forced upon you. The funny part is that generally a forced rebuild tends to be much more painful than a planned stage of rebuilding. The Suns are gonna learn as much soon enough.

Tags: Amare Stoudemire, Hedo Turkoglu, Josh Childress, New York Knicks, off season, Phoenix Suns, Steve Nash, trade

• 

With the NRL regular season drawing to a close and my Tigers set to make the playoffs for the first time since that magical 2005 run, that along with the NFL pre-season (I’m a 49ers fan, having been born in San Fran to a Niners fan dad and all) my sporting attention was nowhere else.

Until I got a call from my mate Fish.

“Bro, I need some blog material, you reckon we could talk NBA shit for a while?”

“I don’t know, man…”

“I’ll buy the beers.”

“I’m in.”

And like that, our collaboration began for this series of articles we discussed over the customary beers a night or so ago (Coopers and Corona for me, Tooheys and Hahn Light for him).

Just to explain Fish’s qualifications: he’s been my best mate ever since I moved to Australia nearly 12 years ago now, he’s a die hard Kings fan (and since he’s also goes for the Cronulla Sharks, Oakland Raiders and Manchester City, he’s the only man alive more qualified to talk about sporting futility than me), a gentleman and a scholar. By gentleman I mean drunk, by scholar I mean he took the HSC exams stoned and still got good enough marks to get into business school.

When we were throwing around ideas, in the end we found ourselves each giving our 2c worth on all the major off-season acquisitions made by each team which we decided to spin into a series of articles for each of our own purposes (in his case his blogs, in my case NBAMate). I don’t know about him, but I hope to get these done before the start of the NBA season.

(Just a note – most of the time I’m not gonna be pointing out who said what cause I can’t be fucked. Just assume all good ideas are mine and all bad ones are his, cause if you don’t like it that’s how I’m gonna pass the buck anyway).

The first article I’m doing is on the trade which sent Al Jefferson to Utah (using the trade exemption they received from Chicago for Carlos Boozer) in exchange for Kosta Koufos, a couple of draft picks and a similar exemption to Minnesota.

It’s hard to see a way where Utah aren’t viewed as utterly raping the Timberpuppies in this deal. They get a 20/10 player for a stiff who won’t even get playing time in Minnesota, which is pretty much the ultimate insult these days. If I wasn’t a point guard I’d like my own chances of getting PT in Minny right now. Hey, what am I saying? Kahn will sign me, I’m a point guard! How about it, dude? Kahn? KAHHHHHHHHN?. The firsts Utah gave up will probably be pretty late anyways, where (exceptionally deep classes like 1999 or this recent one excepted) making picks can be a crapshoot.

However, other talking heads are going even further. This isn’t just a good deal for Utah – it’s gonna apparently be the deal that finally puts them over the top in the West. And this is where we both disagree.

Let’s do a little analysis of Al Jeff as a player. Everyone knows what he’s good at – as I mentioned he’s a consistent 20/10 threat, he’s got a great scoring touch in the low block, he commands a double team in the paint unless your big man is Dwight Howard (always useful when your other big is most effective when he’s spreading the floor), he rebounds well at both ends and, at just 25, he’s still got room to grow and develop. Playing alongside a top-3 PG in Deron Williams should help him do just that. Plus, Utah haven’t had a true back-to-the-basket big man since Karl Malone – Boozer, for all his strengths, wasn’t a bruising post player as much as a finesse guy.

However, there’s a reason Utah got him for 5c on the dollar and it’s not purely that David Kahn is a nitwit. (I love that word. I’m gonna bring it back. Say it to yourself. Nitwit. Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!). For all his strengths, Jefferson has notable flaws as a player. He’s a very poor defensive big man in almost all regards – he couldn’t protect the rim if his life depended on it, he struggles against quicker/more athletic/stretch bigs and isn’t even that much of a low post defender despite his size and bulk.. He’s spent his entire career on losing teams and possibly developed the bad habits that come with that. He often seems to fall in love with the mid-range jumper even though he’s not very good at shooting it. And he’s not a good passer.

Out of all his flaws, the last one is the most worrying for Utah fans. Even considering that he was pretty much the go-to guy in Minny over the past couple of seasons, Jefferson continually showed an unwillingness to pass out of the low block and often instead chose to take a poor shot while double teamed. In the Minnesota triangle offense, Al Jeff frequently struggled with the kind of ball movement that offense required.

This would be a problem for any team, but probably none more so than Utah. Jerry Sloan’s mutant flex offense (this is one area where Fish and I disagree. I consider the Utah offensive scheme to be a flex system. Fish, who admittedly watches far more college basketball than I do, reckons that the Utah scheme isn’t a true flex offense in the way that Gonzaga University run the flex. I’ll defer to him on this one by calling it the Mutant Flex) really calls for a high basketball IQ big man who can pass the ball to keep movement going, be effective off the pick and roll and can both set and use screens.

Right now, Al Jeff can’t really do any of the three. The latter two, however, aren’t as worrying – a guy can learn how to run pick and rolls (Especially with Deron Willians as PG) and use/set screens effectively.

However, being a good passer is a totally different skill. It may sound like a cliché, but the best passers are born, not made. Old school, back to the basket big men who have that passing touch are rare as hell. Al Jeff isn’t one of them. Boozer, while being more of a finesse big guy, had the basketball IQ to function well in the Utah offense. I don’t think Al does.

Which is not to say that it was a bad deal by any means. With the loss of Boozer, Utah looked likely to miss the playoffs outright and leave a disgruntled Deron Williams. Jefferson should at least keep them in the playoff hunt for the next few seasons until Deron walks to greener pastures (I’m picking the Lakers in a post Kobe, post Fisher world needing a new superstar). Any time you can get a piece like that while only giving up a couple of worthless picks and Kosta Koufos, you do it.

Just don’t believe the hype that Al is the piece that makes the Jazz true contenders. Halfway through the season when he’s struggling to understand the complex Utah offense, you’ll see what I mean.

Tags: Al Jefferson, Carlos Boozer, Minnesota Timberwolves, off season, trade, Utah Jazz

• 

JT is the newest writer to hit the pine for NBAMate. A Brett Maher-like streak shooter in his heyday, JT now finds time to break down the fundamentals of the round-ball game in between changing diapers and other fatherly duties.

If you’re anything like me, you’ve often thought to yourself, “what were they thinking?” when viewing NBA trades and acquisitions. How some of these GMs continue to land jobs in the NBA after leaving their team in tatters, is beyond me. It seems one good move is enough to cancel out five bad ones.

So in this space I will fulfill my fantasy and become GM for a day. Here’s a ‘no-punches-pulled’ assessment of each team’s offseason, and what I would have done differently if sitting in the big chair.

Atlanta Hawks
The Joe Johnson extension was absurd (6-years $119m) – I would have let him walk at that price – but the real problem here rests with Josh Smith. Anyone who witnessed his pathetic displays of immaturity throughout the second round series against Orlando, will know exactly what I am talking about. To be blunt, the guy is a class-A knucklehead and a cancer on this team. There are two solutions here. One, hire a ‘tough-as-nails’ coach who is willing to ‘kick his arse’ when necessary, or two, trade him. Since they opted for cheap over need in the coaching department, he must be dealt. The ultimate goal here should be to move their most important player Al Horford back to his natural position of power forward. And with Smith as the bait, a legit NBA center is the target. Some deals that may have interest to both parties (and work under the salary cap): to Cleveland for Varejao and Hickson; to Boston for Perk and Baby (plus filler); to Orlando for Gortat and Bass; and to Denver for Nene. Look, I know you’re getting back cents on the dollar here in terms of sheer talent, but the team would have more balance and better on-court chemistry as a result.

Boston Celtics
I am tempted to blow it up and rebuild around Rondo, but with the right decisions they could have still been in the mix. The Jermaine O’Neal signing had merit to replace Wallace, but with Shaq’s arrival, the old adage ‘you can never have enough bigs’ will surely be tested. Do you really think he can handle playing behind Perk, Baby and J. O’Neal? I don’t. But the real concern here is depth on the wings behind the declining Pierce and Allen. In free agency, Josh Howard, Ronnie Brewer, J.J. Redick or Matt Barnes should have been strongly pursued. And in the draft, wings such as James Anderson, Dominique Jones or Damion James would have made more sense than the point guard Avery Bradley. These failures and the addition of the O’Neal relics, tells me their time has passed.

Charlotte Bobcats
I am struggling to see any real positives on this roster. Jackson and Wallace are your only impact players and that spells trouble. And the team is alarmingly devoid of young talent which doesn’t give much hope for the future. Letting Felton walk was a sound decision as he is nothing more than an average point guard. But giving $40m to the surly Tyrus Thomas? Yikes. He can block shots and rebound but that’s it my friends, he’s a (bad tempered) energy guy, no more, no less. The Bobcats are in a bad way and you can’t dress that up.

Chicago Bulls
I can’t fault any of the Bulls moves and they should be a formidable team come playoff time. They are still one quality player away from contending so improvements can still be made. Maintain your cap space and keep adding young assets for a potential trade down the line.

Cleveland Cavaliers
To tear it all down and start over is the only logical way forward. Apart from J.J. Hickson, the entire roster can go. In an ideal world, the rest could be had for expiring contracts, young players or draft picks. But with several bad contracts on their books, that’s easier said than done. With the realisation that they are not an attractive free agent destination, they must use Oklahoma City as the model and build patiently through the draft.

Dallas Mavericks
They have a lot of talented parts but they don’t fit together and there is no balance between youth and experience. Age is a major concern and I think they have crossed the line in that regard, just like Boston. And you would have thought Mark Cuban learnt his lesson in handing out bloated contracts to Marion and Diop in recent years. But with the 6-year $55m deal he gave Brendan Haywood, he obviously didn’t learn a thing. Tyson Chandler was a nice addition and could definitely help, but injuries are always a concern. The Mavs are a capped-out aging team who are not good enough to beat the top team in the conference (Lakers), so for my mind a rebuild is in order. Cuban obviously has other ideas.

Denver Nuggets
With the signing of Al Harrington they have well and truly exceeded their knucklehead quota. By my count that makes four. Good luck dealing with that George Karl. But seriously, the last thing they needed was another hungry mouth to feed, and that’s exactly what Harrington brings, and not much else. They were in desperate need of more size and muscle upfront, and vets such as Kurt Thomas, Jermaine O’Neal, Kwame Brown or Lou Amundson could have filled the breach. Regardless, things aren’t looking good for Denver as Melo seems like a goner. If that’s the case, I would face facts and look for the best possible package for Anthony leading up to the trade deadline, with emerging players and high draft picks the priority. If you do in fact go down this path, I would also explore the market for Billups, K-Mart, Smith and Birdman.

Detroit Pistons
Just trade Hamilton and Prince already. With their youth movement these guys just don’t fit anymore. Good luck moving Hamilton though as Dumars gifted him a ridiculous extension in 2009. Not much about this team makes sense, from the Gordon and Villanueva signings last year to the T-Mac experiment this year; it’s a mish mash of odd parts. One positive; they can thank Golden State’s incompetence for landing the uniquely gifted Greg Monroe in the draft, who should be their starting center for years to come. Going forward, anything other than a focus on developing youth does not make sense here.

Golden State Warriors
The selection of Ekpe Udoh with the 6^th pick was ridiculous. Greg Monroe should have been the man, without any doubt. Here’s my recommendation to the new ownership group; take a broom through the entire front office, fire Nellie on the spot (no matter what the cost) and banish that ridiculous ‘small ball’ brand of basketball, trade Ellis and Biedrins and build around Curry and Lee. Did I mention fire Nellie?

Houston Rockets
The Houston roster is not all it’s cracked up to be. They still seem blindly married to Yao when it’s clear his days could be numbered and they should be moving on. And allowing him to play more than 25 minutes a night this season would be foolish. The Martin acquisition made little sense (especially for Landry), as he too is injury prone. Did they not learn their lesson with Yao and T-Mac? They have some nice young pieces in Hill, Patterson, Budinger and Lee, but they are all limited role players. The extension to Scola was a must, but $24m for Lowry? And I don’t understand why they aren’t shopping Shane Battier. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a fine player but he’s on the backend, and at this stage of their careers I would have preferred the sprightlier Trevor Ariza. And by the way, why all the ragging on Ariza? He’s a role player/glue guy – and a damn good one – but that’s all he is and all he ever will be. LA knew that. The mistake here was Houston talking him up as a potential All-star. That was an unrealistic expectation and showed poor judgment on their part. But for what he brings to the floor, Ariza is worth his contract.

Indiana Pacers
The acquisition of Darren Collison changes everything for the Pacers. With him comes a genuine hope for the future after years stuck in the mud (thanks Larry). In the draft, their lack of quality bigs should have made Ed Davis a no brainer at pick 10, and in the second round Stephenson was a steal, until he confirmed his bad rep by throwing his baby mama down a flight of stairs. Nice. Going forward, they must preserve their potential 2011 cap space at all costs, resisting the urge to take on bad contracts in a trade. The ultimate goal should be to target restricted free agent to-be Al Horford with a big time offer next year.

LA Clippers
Tell me if I am wrong but virtually everyone on this roster is offensively-minded. That’s not a recipe for success on any team, especially for a perennially bad one like the Clippers. The free agent additions of Foye and Gomes were sound, but something’s missing here and a shake-up is necessary. Most of the key pieces are young so that should be their focus. I would stop the charade that Davis and Kaman are your building blocks and try and turn them into young assets or expiring contracts. If they are going to climb out of this hole Blake Griffin has to be the real deal.

LA Lakers
The champs actually got better with some terrific additions. But if I am nit-picking, a three year contact for Derek Fisher seems excessive, and Lamar Odom’s regular vanishing act when the going gets tough is a concern.

Memphis Grizzlies
Gay, Mayo and Gasol are nice pieces for Memphis, but the others – not so much. But I don’t think a team led by Gay and Mayo is going anywhere in the west, so a trade to land a clear cut number one should be explored. Gay’s extension seemed quite outrageous on the surface, but they couldn’t let him walk for nothing and they protected themselves against a frontloaded offer. Mike Conley is not a starting point guard so alternatives need to be sought at this position. In regard to Randolph’s expiring contract, there’s no future in him as a key piece on a young team so I would look to deal him before 2011 deadline. I would have gone hard after David Lee in free agency and been willing to give up some young assets in return (ex. Conley, Henry, Thabeet or future first round draft picks).

Miami Heat
What can you say, Pat Riley is a genius. I cannot fault any of his moves. With what little was left over, he did a masterful job filling out the roster. Enough said.

Milwaukee Bucks
The Bucks are sitting pretty with a Jennings/Bogut duo, but that doesn’t mean you can get reckless in other areas. With the re-signing of Salmons and acquisition of CDR, I see no logic in the trade for Maggette. He’s a ball hog and an unwilling defender, not to mention his bloated contact (3 more years at $30m). And $32m for the journeyman Gooden – c’mon. I understand that you’re in a small market but there is a right way and a wrong way to go about it. Overpaying for mediocre talent is the wrong way, building patiently through the draft is the right way (e.g. Portland and OKC). The Bucks will certainly be an improved outfit with the added firepower, but this team’s not going further than the second round.

Minnesota Timberwolves
Where do you start with this mess? Passing on DeMarcus Cousins was just another in a long line of draft botch-ups; trading away arguably the best low post scorer in the game (Jefferson) for a bag of chips was ridiculous; and re-signing Milicic for 4-years and $20m, well words can’t describe the absurdity of it. The low risk Beasley acquisition was the only real positive move for the club. I am sorry but the only hope I see here is if Ricky Rubio – who I think will be special – decides to come over next year. But to be honest, if I were him, I wouldn’t touch this rabble with a 10-foot pole. I would try and force my way out with a trade demand or just stay over in Spain.

New Jersey Nets
You must credit the Nets for not overreacting and spending their cap space on marginal talent when they missed out on the marquee names. Preserving this space will eventually pay dividends; they just have to be patient. The selection of Favors in the draft was a good one and sets up a potential monster frontline with Brook Lopez. Their free agent additions of Farmar, Outlaw and Petro are questionable, whilst Morrow could be a steal. They let a good young player go in Courtney Lee in the Murphy trade, but regardless, the future is bright for the Nyets.

New Orleans Hornets
Make no mistake, Chris Paul is gone, it’s just a matter of when and where to. He has made it crystal clear he expects to play for a title contender and that’s not going to happen in the Big Easy anytime soon. The Ariza trade is mere window dressing and I still can’t believe they gave up Collison for a role player, as he was their only insurance against losing Paul. Now they will be in a position where they have to get a point guard in return. And just like Cleveland it appears they cannot see the writing on the wall, and this will be their downfall. Recognising the reality of the situation I would have kept Collison, and over the course of the next two years aimed to get the best possible deal for Paul, seeking promising players and draft picks in return. I would have also used this opportunity to offload Okafor, who is nothing more than dead wood.

New York Knicks
Having swung and missed on the big guns the moves they made were solid. With his defensive struggles Stoudemire is not worth $100m, but if his presence helps you land Melo, CP3 or Tony Parker, then he is worth every penny. Signing Felton on a short contract was a sound move, and trading for Randolph was brilliant. But the Knicks must resist the urge to spend on marginal talent in the next two years. If they do, they will have the opportunity to form the next super team. And I would aim to put an immediate end to this insane obsession with that clown Isiah Thomas.

Oklahoma City Thunder
If I could poach one GM for my team it would be Sam Presti. This guy knows what he is doing and has built this franchise into a potential powerhouse. They needed a ‘lunch pail’ big, so he turns two low first rounders in a weak draft into Cole Aldrich. Brilliant. Just let this team grow, continue to add depth in the frontcourt and sit back and enjoy the ride.

Orlando Magic
Several things became crystal clear last season. One, Vince Carter is finished as an impact player. Heck, he shouldn’t even be a starter. Two, Rashard Lewis’s monster contract is going to severely restrict this team’s ability to improve going forward. And three, Dwight Howard is what he is. That being, he’s more Bill Russell than Patrick Ewing in terms of offensive ability, so quit expecting the man to shoot the ball because it may never happen. Don’t get me wrong here, Howard is a dominant force, but just not in the way many people would like him to be. And Van Gundy needs to get off his high horse about not using a traditional power forward alongside Howard. Bass is there and is capable so use him. The Magic will still be in the mix, but realistically they don’t have enough reliable offensive weapons to hang with Miami or LA in a 7 game series.

Philadelphia 76ers
Selecting Evan Turner in the draft was the right move as a Holliday/Turner backcourt could be special. They are hamstrung until they can unload Brand and his albatross contract, so I would consider moving Iguodala (as a package) to make it happen. Acquiring a good young big and stockpiling draft picks should be their priority.

Phoenix Suns
A mediocre summer will lock this team into a mediocre future. Trading for Turkoglu and signing Frye and Warrick to ridiculous contracts, will take them nowhere but a first round exit. And I can’t understand why they didn’t pursue Michael Beasley. It was well known that Beasley was available for cap space and Minnesota was the only taker. With the TPE (Traded Player Exception) from the Stoudemire trade to New York, the Suns had the opportunity to acquire him but passed. Wouldn’t Beasley have been a better option than Hakim Warrick? He’s cheaper, younger and far better offensive player, and they could have released him after one year if he didn’t pan out. And playing alongside a point guard like Nash could have been just what the doctor ordered for Beasley. They dropped the ball here. Phoenix needs to rebuild, not reload.

Portland Trail Blazers
It all comes down to health for the Blazers. They have a terrific blend of youth and experience and they may be the only team with the requisite size to challenge LA in the west. They did well to clear the logjam at the wing so that Batum could thrive (I think he will become a force), and the Wesley Matthews signing will help. But it’s always a risk when most of your key players are injury prone.

Sacramento Kings
An organisation making all the right moves. Evans is a bull in the backcourt, Landry is as tough as they come at the power forward position and Cousins could be a monster. This team could be scary down the track. I would be seeking a combo guard with shooting range to pair with Evans. Beno Udrih just doesn’t cut it. With this in mind, Randy Foye or Shannon Brown would have been a nice low key addition to the rotation. They would be wise to keep preserving cap space going forward, with the idea of eventually signing some quality vets to put around the young studs, similar to Portland.

San Antonio Spurs
Since 2008 I have been telling anyone who would listen that the Spurs are finished as title contenders, and to this day I have seen nothing to suggest that I am wrong. Surely a second round sweep at the hands of the defensively challenged Phoenix Suns is evidence of that? And let’s be frank, they certainly would not beat the Lakers in a seven game series, and I don’t even think they could get past a healthy Blazers or Thunder. So why bother – for old time’s sake? Not on my watch. Brace yourself, but I would blow this thing up and quickly, before their aging ‘stars’ lose any more value. To clarify, I am talking about cashing in Duncan, Manu and Parker for young assets. This trio could fetch a significant return and set the organisation up for the future. In regards to the Jefferson extension, it doesn’t take Einstein to realise there was a handshake agreement in place when he opted out and re-signed for 4-years and $39m. Considering that he proved to be a bad fit for the system, this makes no sense to me. I would have let him play out the last year rather than lock him in for that exorbitant amount, when you know you will be rebuilding in a year or two. This whole thing about the Spurs organisation being above reproach in terms of their decision making; obviously I don’t buy it.

Toronto Raptors
The only positive I can see here is Ed Davis. The once crafty Bryan Colangelo has now turned reckless, handing out several bad contracts to mediocre talent in recent years. So can you really blame Bosh for skipping town? A youth movement is the only logical way forward.

Utah Jazz
First off, I love their new unis. But I digress. To mine, Jefferson is an upgrade over Boozer so nice move, but they still have major holes here. They will not be going anywhere until they solidify their frontcourt, where they have been abused in recent years. And having a starting center that lives on the 3 point line just doesn’t help matters. They need more muscle upfront and Cole Aldrich in the draft could have been the answer. They also need a scoring wing, and Henry or George fit that description. The selection of Hayward just doesn’t inspire confidence as he appears to be a role player at best. And presenting the past-his-prime Raja Bell as a big acquisition doesn’t fly with me. If they don’t get Williams more help in a hurry, they’re in trouble. D-Will is not a patient man.

Washington Wizards
With John Wall at the controls their future is bright, so surrounding him with young talent must be the plan. With Arenas, I would continue to explore trade and buyout opportunities but luck will be needed here. They can console themselves with the fact that history shows no one is untradable in the NBA. In regard to the Hinrich trade, taking on a reserve guard at $9m per year makes no sense for the Wiz, especially with Arenas’s albatross hanging around their necks.

To read more of JT’s stuff, check out his blog at NBAozblog

Tags: 2010 free agency, GM, off season

• 

For all the hype surrounding the ‘Redeem Team’ of the 2008 Olympics, this 2010 World Championship version won’t be anywhere near the same ballpark of the its star-studded predecessor. It’s just as exciting, but it also has the potential to FAIL at the final hurdle.

In the past, I’ve shrieked at some of the names included on the roster mainly because I didn’t feel their games were suited to the international stage. I also didn’t rate those players a whole lot. Poor examples include Allen Iverson (most of you must know by now I clearly am not a fan of), Richard Jefferson, Stephon Marbury, Baron Davis, Shareef Abdur-Rahim, Vin Baker, Shawn Marion, Emeka Okafor and the list goes on and on.

Unfortunately, FIBA basketball is a laughing stock compared to FIFA when it gets its footballing countries involved. Unless it’s the NBA, most of us tune out. We’d love to get passionate and completely behind our Aussie Boomers, but we just don’t have enough talent to match it with the big guns of the US, Spain and Argentina (when it decides to play its stars), and we just don’t have excitement machines like a Ricky Rubio to spark the Aussie public’s interest or even NBA scouts. Andrew Bogut is our best player, but he’s injured and I think his time at international level is coming to a close. I adore Patty Mills, and major kudos go out to him and Nathan Jawai who’ll tussle for NBA minutes this season coming, but who are they to the average Australian sports fan?

Sadly, the entire Redeem Team of ‘08 are all on summer sabbaticals. Yes, that means no Kobe, LeBron, D-Wade, CP3, Bosh, Boozer and company. That’s a given particularly when some are still partying in South Beach or nursing niggling injuries ahead of the NBA pre-season. And also no Amar’e, who’ll sit this tourney out to keep the Knicks’ suits in check. I’m even upset Brook Lopez didn’t make the cut coz of illness.

It’s a tough gig being a pro and even tougher if you’re an NBA front officeman or in this case, USA Basketball chairman Jerry Colangelo. Questions abound, if you’re an owner or GM, do you let your franchise star risk injury playing at high level when they’re on your books for the next five years? Or, if you’re a Colangelo, do you select players who fulfil the US’ needs (perimeter shooting, defense etc) knowing they are locked into their clubs? If not, do you select the next best player on need or sheer NBA talent? Does age matter? Somebody tickle my balls, I’m shrieking again.

The current pool as it was announced looks like this, Kevin Durant (Thunder), Chauncey Billups (Nuggets), Lamar Odom (Lakers), Russell Westbrook (Thunder), Rajon Rondo (Celtics), Derrick Rose (Bulls), Andre Iguodala (76ers), Jeff Green (Thunder), Kevin Love (T-Wolves), Rudy Gay (Grizzlies), Danny Granger (Pacers), Stephen Curry (Warriors), Eric Gordon (Clippers), Tyson Chandler (Mavericks) and JaVale McGee (Wizards). Three more will be cut.

Honestly, I don’t agree with half the team listed, not to mention this crop screams of 2004 when the US finished a miserable 6th at the Indianapolis World Championships. They’re incredibly thin up front and other than Durant, Billups and Curry, not a whole lot of pure shooters. Sure, they’ve got scorers who’ll light up the stat sheets. But don’t sell streaky, high-volume shooters coz that won’t fly with me, especially once those boys hit an iceberg.

Playing ‘FIBA Basketball’ should not be taken for granted and as Manu Ginobili said at those ‘04 Olympics, “The US had the best players ever (in 1992). Here they are great players, too, but they are young and they never played internationally, so with different rules it’s a whole different thing…the rest of the world is getting better and the States isn’t bringing their best players.”

The US may win in Turkey this September, emphatically, or stumble across the line. Given the talent, they are rightly the favorites heading in, but I won’t be holding my breath. I expect the opposition to stay close to them, and I know for a fact they won’t be beating teams by an average of 32.2 points a game like the ’08 team did. I won’t be surprised if they lose a game or two, even if it’s in a medal-winning position. Quietly, I hope the Boomers knock them over…

Historically, I’ve never been sold on athletic studs that stand out on their respective NBA teams, not to mention most of them are in the early stages of their career. FIBA games call for more experienced ballers who have the brains and perimeter game to make the collapsing defenses burn.

So based on the US’s preferences for players with the ability to press full court defensively and consistently knock the perimeter shots down, here’s two lists of players I feel would fit the Americans needs- one containing the best NBA stars with ‘Dream Team’ credentials (which generally wets my pants using when I play NBA 2K) that will never happen, but surely would walk to the gold, and a more realistic team that features the best young players with a cut-off age of 24, most of whom that are not yet primetime focuses on contending teams, except for maybe that Bull guy and Thunder duo. It is a confusing criteria, but one that I’m prepared to argue all day long.

So Ladies and Gents, feel free to throw up your best teams if you feel mine are inadequate…

J.O’s 2010 24 and Under Team

Guards:
Derrick Rose
Russell Westbrook
Stephen Curry
JJ Redick
OJ Mayo

Summary: Rose and Westbrook provide speed, back court defense and floor leadership. Curry and Redick would ideally spread the floor with Mayo being able combo all of this on a platter.

Forwards:
Kevin Durant
Martell Webster
Anthony Morrow
Ryan Anderson
Blake Griffin

Summary: Durant is the quintessential star for the youth and the seasonal superstars. He is the closer and team leader. Webster and Morrow could do serious damage beyond the arc and on the wings, but would need to step up the D. Griffin provides the grunt, while Anderson provides the consummate all-round team facilitator, shooter and polish.

Centers:
Roy Hibbert
Kevin Love

Summary: Hibbert is a beast waiting to explode- on the glass, in the post and could alter many shots. He beats out Bynum and the Lopez’s purely on health issues. Love will intimidate on D, rebound like a gorilla being tasered, and show off that midrange shot he will eventually develop as the years go by.

J.O’s 2010 Inception-based Dream Team

Guards:
Chauncey Billups
Deron Williams
Ray Allen
Kobe Bryant
Dwyane Wade

Summary: The names say it all with lots of hardware in between. A disgustingly, delicious line-up boasting of enormous firepower and experience.

Forwards:
LeBron James
Carmelo Anthony
Kevin Durant
Kevin Garnett
Amar’e Stoudamire

Summary: What the previous summary said but with more length, ego and nut-sack.

Centers:
Dwight Howard
Tim Duncan

Summary: A well-developed brute with a methodical warrior to back him up. The two best traditional big men America has to offer in the game today.

Tags: FIBA, Redeem Team, Team USA

• 

(NB: A large portion of this article is dedicated to a vacation story. If you don’t want to read about what a bunch of yobs get up to in the sun, skip between the bold parts).

It’s been nearly three weeks since “The Decision” and LeBron’s decision still confused me.

Why Miami?

It certainly wasn’t the best move for his public image. Given the entire lead up which had already made him look like a preening diva, the only way he could have salvaged his image would have been to stay in Cleveland.

It’s not about business. The smartest move to maximise his earning power would have been to join either the Knicks (and therefore the New York market and all the business leaders of the world available) or the New Jersey Nets and Mikhail Prokhorov’s global reach.

You can’t even say it’s all about winning. Had LeBron gone to Chicago, he + Derrick Rose + Boozer + Noah would have been as good a core group (possibly even better) than Wade + Bosh + spare parts. And had he won in the Windy City, his legacy would have remained intact.

As it is, going to Miami has shattered many of the beliefs that we once held about the Man Who Would Be King. Which leads me to the question – why?

Why would a supremely talented basketball player like LeBron, who at 25 is just entering his prime, piss it all away just to go play with his mates? That surely can’t be the only reason he left.

I ended up thinking for a while until I got distracted and started looking through some old holiday photos.

When I came to the Miami file, it hit me.

Of course.

I was looking at the photos that we had taken last year when me, my cousin and my two best mates Joe and Fish spent a week in Miami. There were hundreds we had taken, but they all had one thing in common.

Each and every one had a hot woman in them.

(The holiday stories start here, so you can scroll down.)

Every single one. Whether we had convinced a random girl on the beach to get her photo taken with a bunch of not-so-studly young Aussie tourists (too easy), the girl in the photo was a sexual/attempted conquest for the night or simply walking in the background and she was all blurry but you could still tell she was a decent sight…all of them.

There was a reason we picked Miami for our Man Trip to celebrate getting back together for the first time in two years. We had originally planned Amsterdam, but that plan got deep sixed when Joe’s mum caught wind of it and refused to let him go. (He’s Asian and has issues with his mum). So to cover my ass with my very conservative Indian mum, I made up a BS story about going to the US to catch up with my cuz (who I won’t name in this article because he’s just graduated college and eventually wants to enter politics. I wouldn’t want to destroy his future by accident) – as soon as I told him our plan, he wanted in on the trip. Given that we all believe in “the more, the merrier” when it comes to drinking, partying and debauchery, no problemo.

Anyway, since we were limited to the USA, picking a destination became easy. Vegas was ruled out because we a) couldn’t procure fake IDs from a nearby state and b) none of us are good gamblers, and I’m a problem one. New Orleans was considered, but in the end Miami was the best choice.

And did it live up to our expectations.

Let me put it this way. Our days basically went like: wake up mid morning, either take woman in bed out for breakfast (sneak into fancy hotel we can’t afford to stay in and pay out the ass; I do this cause I’m a gentleman) or kick her out, crawl out by midday for lunch hungover, spend a couple of hours recovering, go do our own thing until about 6pm (for me, this generally meant heading to the beach for a few hours) before getting together, splitting a pizza and hitting South Beach until early next morning in between taking willing ladies back to cheap motel room. Repeat the next day. It was like living in a Tucker Max story.

We partied like rock stars for one week despite being broke uni students. While the fact that three out of four members of the crew had Australian accents always helps with American women, that’s merely one thing in our favour out of many stacked against us.

As we left Miami airport, we coined the slogan “If you can’t get laid here, you can’t get laid anywhere.” Ripping off New York? Yes, but it’s accurate.

And the tales of perversion and depravity are over, so you can start reading again.

The point is, all those things happened to a group of uni students over summer.

How do you think LeBron’s gonna do?

Hmm, he’s a 25 year old guy who just happens to be one of the best players in the NBA (if not the best). He’s in incredible physical shape, can probably buy every club in South Beach if he so desires and also happens to be famous.

If he takes one step down Lincoln Road he can probably take his pick out of 500 women.

Don’t think D-Wade hasn’t been doing the same for the past seven years. Or the Bosh didn’t come to Miami for the same reasons.

Like so many single young blokes, LeBron made “The Decision” not with his head or his heart, but with his penis.

The difference being that most guys making a career choice his age aren’t putting their legacy as athletes at stake, their chance to become global superstars or their home town’s hopes and dreams on the line.

Hey, I’m sure Cleveland women are great.

But they can’t compare to South Beach.

Tags: babes, Chris Bosh, Dwyane Wade, Lebron James, Miami, Miami Heat

• 

“Keep Ya Head Up”
– 2Pac

Firstly, let me state clearly that any and all words that come out of my mouth relating to the NBA contain a heavy, at times ridiculous, bias towards the Knicks. But like P.Diddy… Can’t stop, won’t stop.

Let me also say this – if I ever see Lebron in the street, he better watch out. My death stare will be so intense, who knows what will happen. Basically, he took everyone for a loooong ride. He knew all along what he was going to do, yet he had Chicago, Cleveland and New York fans believing he would come to them, especially New York fans. We put up with Stephon, we put up with Isiah, we even put up with trading away enough draft picks to select a whole new team, because there was the hope of Lebron. Well, that’s done and dusted.

Now, let me address my NBAMate colleagues (after what they said here):

J.O  - The Chris Paul/Carmelo Anthony thing is not so ludicrous to suggest, Chris Paul even mentioned it in a toast at Carmelo’s wedding in New York on the weekend, right in front of the Nuggets owner!

Ant – How did we pay $100m for an upgrade of 15%? David Lee cost Golden State $80m which means we paid $20m more for Amar’e.  $100m take away $80m (tell me to slow down if you need) equals $20m. That means Ant, we paid $20m for a 15% upgrade.

Now let’s look at this a bit closer.

David Lee was one of my all time favourite Knicks, I’ve followed him for every game since we drafted him. I bragged about him to friends. I watched his game dramatically evolve. I have a lot of love for D Lee, but Amar’e brings a different style of game to the floor. David Lee nets around 20 points per game, Amar’e 23. David Lee gets his points from jump shots (improved out of sight), put backs and pick and roll plays. He would be lucky to draw a double team though, very lucky. The offense Mike D’Antoni obviously feels comfortable running depends on open spot up shooters. Without double teams, this is clearly a hard task. By adding Amar’e down low, this will make life much easier for Danilo Gallinari, Toney Douglas, Bill Walker and co. Perhaps we won’t get extra points from Amar’e that will blow our mind, but he will create more openings for our perimeter players, without a doubt.

Next, the same team as last season you say? Let’s check the roster:
Toney Douglas (only received court time in the last 2 months of the season)
Andy Rautins (new to team)
Jerome Jordan (new to team)
Landry Fields (new to team)
Billy Walker (only played 27 games after coming across in the Nate Rob trade)
Raymond Felton (new to team)
Amar’e Stoudemire (new to team)
Anthony Randolph (new to team)
Ronny Turiaf (new to team)
Kelenna Azubuike (new to team)
Timofey Mozgov (new to team)
Eddy Curry (7 games last season)

Leaving two actual rotation players from last season’s team:
Wilson Chandler & Danilo Gallinari
Who just happened to be the two most consistent players to put on the blue, white and orange.

Chris Duhon, gone. Al Harrington, gone. TMac, gone. Jared Jeffries, gone. Nate Robinson, gone. David Lee, gone.

Same team as last season? Yeah, spot on buddy. And before it is argued it is the same ‘calibre’ team as last season, that shall only be proven at the end of the year, but I guarantee you we will improve. Harrington and Duhon caused so much devastation on-court last season that the upgrade to Felton and whoever steps in Harrington’s minutes will be massive. Beliiiiieve dat.

Robd – New York, laughable? Funny coming from a Pistons fan. I could leave it at that, but I won’t. Let’s just remember your big splurge in free agency, Benny G and Charlie V, how’s that working out? The one thing people seem to forget about Amar’e? He has swagger. That just so happens to be a very valued currency in NYC. Dude is going to bust his balls. Amar’e was one of the league’s most potent player post-All Star break, and let’s not forget that, averaging 27 & 10 for the home stretch of the season! If you were going to miss out on Lebron/Bosh/Wade, which all but one team did, you’d at least be happy to add a 27/10 big man, right? Apparently not according to you guys.

As for trying to replicate the offense, it’s not gonna be that far fetched, now that we have some actual shooters on the squad and a point guard who can get up and down the floor. Chris Duhon tried, and was actually successful for a few weeks when the Knicks were one of the more entertaining teams two seasons ago. The result? Z-Bo and Crawford looked so good we actually got to trade their humongous contracts. That was Mike D offence. Then we ended up with Albert Harrington and Larry Hughes and things deteriorated. I fully expect our offense to be one of the bright stories of the league this year. I agree with you that we won’t be serious contenders, of course, but we are in a far greater position than you may realise. We now have young assets, and still have cap flexibility for 2011-2012, with Felton signed for just 2 years, EC coming off the books, Mozgov having just 1 of his 3 years guaranteed and so on. Carmelo, Paul, Parker, the options are limitless. With Amar’e here, players now have a better reason to come to New York, and with Miami Thrice guys will be figuring out ways to get together and take them down. No one is planning to do that with Charlie V. Trust me.

P.S Expect several texts/IM’s/tweets/wall posts when Amar’e torches you guys.

Jobba – I appreciate the support. The past few weeks were crazy, I would go to bed late and wake up early, checking Twitter for any clues from the NY beat writers, and reading every NY/Lebron related article possible. On, “The Decision” day I was all kitted out in my Knicks gear, ready to streak. As I threw my Knicks beanie at the TV when Lebron muttered something about South Beach, my heart snapped, my fiancée become scared, and I screamed a word I hadn’t in a long time. But, moments later, I remember I’m a Knick fan for life, and got over it. Again, thanks for considering my personal well being Jobba, always a top bloke But the support was only needed for that day. There is NOTHING this Knicks team can throw at me that will upset me, considering the history of this ball club. Every year for the past 9 seasons I have said, “well, at least we’ll be ok next year” only to be surprised. It would take A LOT for me to be upset with this team.

P.S Thanks for Felton, the Bobbies should struggle again, and the world shall go back to normal.

Ash – Overpay for a scrub like Felton? Well, if we didn’t get Felton you’d say we have no PG, so that’s a wash. We got Felton on a 2-year deal, so what we pay him does not really make a difference. I believe we got him for $7-8m. Not the end of the world, considering Channing Frye got $30m for his latest deal.

Randolph will melt? Well, only if his mind-game playing psychotic coach Don Nelson was part of the trade. Nothing else required to say on this one. Nellie done lost it.

David Lee and Curry leading you to the playoffs? Nice thought, but definitely not going to happen. Who is going to play defense on that squad? David Lee’s strengths are rebounding, outlet passing and working the pick and roll. His most glaring deficiency? Man on man defense. He lets people shoot so he can set up for the boards. Golden State traded away Turiaf and Randolph, two guys who actually bring it on defense, for a guy who doesn’t. You didn’t need more points; you need less on the other team

And that’s a wrap.
Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiire Isiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiah!

T.

Tags: 2010 free agency, Amare Stoudemire, David Lee, Lebron James, New York Knicks

• 

If like me, you witnessed The Decision on ESPN Friday, you’ll wish you had that hour of your life back. But it’s hard to deny it might have been the most important hour in the history of the NBA, as far as future-shaping moments go. Some fans are upset, some excited, some downright confused. So I thought we’d pull together some of the NBAMate crew to try and make sense of it all. Q&A stylez.

1. In one word – what was your reaction to The Decision?

J.O: “Tactless” – This decision could have been made much, much earlier and behind closed doors like most free agent deals are done. The fact he toyed with the whole process in front of Cleveland fans, in front of the country and in front of a global audience on television shows a lack of class, perhaps even selfishness. Disappointing for an elite athlete that considers himself the pillar of ‘professional’.

Ant: (epic) miscalculation.

Robd: Shock – Just did not see this coming. Has fundamentally changed what I think about Lebron. For good or worse, I’m not sure yet.

Jobba: LMFAO – Seriously, who didn’t hear the announcement and started singing ‘I’m in Miami B**ch’

Ash: Shock – at first, then I started celebrating cause I knew the Warriors would be getting David Lee. So you can read what you will into that.

2. Was this a strange move, given what we know about Lebron and his quest for basketball immortality? Can he ever seriously be considered amongst the All-Time Elite’s of this game now that he’s part of such a talented trio?

J.O: Here’s the part I still can’t get my head around. I acknowledge the fact he wants to win. Every player wants to win now. That’s acceptable. I admire him for getting on the front foot, and not waiting until he hits his 30’s. But having spent the greater part of 7-years convincing us he was ‘The King’, ‘The Chosen One’ makes him somewhat the greatest hypocrite of all time. This is D-Wade’s team, LeBron has somewhat relegated himself to Scottie Pippen status. But hey, Pip was a winner too wasn’t he? And still we considered him amongst the NBA’s All-Time Elite.

Ant: Was it strange? I don’t think so, but it certainly shattered some assumptions that people had about him – namely that he cared more about money and/or ego than winning. I mean, he’s blown that stuff out of the water by choosing the smallest market available to him AND going to a team that already has an established superstar. The guy obviously cares most about winning, and from that point-of-view Miami and Chicago were the only two options.

As far as legacy goes, it’s total nonsense. Since he’ll inevitably be compared to Jordan let’s do just that, starting with his 2IC. Over time, Pippen’s legacy has somehow eroded to the point where he’s now thought of by many people as simply a handy sidekick to MJ, which couldn’t be further from the truth. To wit, in his first season without Jordan, he finished third in the MVP voting, despite missing 10 games. In fact, through the mid-90’s he was unquestionably the best Small Forward in the league. Not bad for a “second banana”. Dennis Rodman, meanwhile, finished in the top 15 of MVP voting in all 3 seasons he played (for the Pistons and Spurs) right before joining the Bulls. People don’t remember this now but they were great, great players. No-one discounted Jordan’s rings because of it, nor should they discount LeBron’s.

Robd: I do think it’s a little “inconsistent” with what we’ve seen and heard from Lebron before. You don’t expect someone anointed the “King” with “Chosen One” tattooed on his back to flee and seek help from the next best player in the league, and another very good one. He can never equal or surpass Jordan’s mantle now (or Magic’s or Bird’s), something I always believed Lebron was actively chasing. He said this decision was all about “winning”. He’s chosen “winning” alright, at the sacrifice of his own legacy. It’s brave, unexpected, and some have argued misguided, but it might be the first time in a while Lebron has deliberately placed himself somewhere other than the center of the universe.

Jobba: I think he will almost already be amongst the All-Time Elite with what he has personally accomplished. The only thing really missing on his resume is a title. Obviously, he went to the place where he thinks that can happen. I honestly don’t know what the deal in terms of years and money will be, and LeBron is still young. But you can book it in; I believe LBJ will play for another club before he retires.

Ash: To answer the first part, yeah it does seem a bit strange. But then I considered what LeBron’s goals may be, and I concluded it may not be so strange. LeBron doesn’t have MJ/Kobe’s killer streak or their willingness to fight, but at the same time he wants to win and have fun doing so. Now he’s on a team where he gets to play with his mates, probably win 60-65 games each season and make the Finals every year. Plus, the women in Miami are the hottest in the world other than in Rio.

As for the second part, I think he just threw away any shot he had at being considered one of the greatest of all time. Hall of Famer? Yeah, probably. But we’re never going to be talking about him in MJ/Magic/Bird/Russell terms, or even in Kobe/West/Chamberlain terms. He’ll be another great ballplayer, possibly an icon of lost potential. No more. You can give this article I wrote for B/R on the subject a quick read.

3. There’s a lot of ego on this team now. Could it turn sour? Is there be a Battle of the Alpha Dogs on the horizon?

J.O: Unlikely. There’s nothing like playing ball with your mates- pretty good ones too apparently. I guess that’s where LeBron’s loyalty tag really comes into effect. He is and will always be loyal to his buddies, and that’s why this will probably work. It worked for LeBron in high school and unless the money, fame and winning makes them incredibly greedy, or if Bosh or James secretly trip over and slip the sausage into Gabrielle Union, I’d say this will be the start of something very special.

Ant: It’s unlikely. Had they been traded to the same team without prior agreement, it might have been a problem. Given they’ve all agreed to play together, they should be sweet for at least 2 seasons, even if they don’t win a ring straight away. The only potential problems I see are the lack of clout of Erik Spoelstra (but if that causes trouble Riley can salvage it himself) and Chris Bosh discovering he’s a distant third on the pecking order (more on that later).

Robd: There’s no question each player has enjoyed being the Alpha Dog the past few years. But I don’t see this turning sour, mainly because each player has gone through the perils of trying to lead their own team, and come up short. They’re at a stage in their careers where they will appreciate each other, rather than compete with each other. That wasn’t the case with Kobe and Shaq earlier in the decade because Kobe was still trying to prove he was the best player in the league. I think Wade and Lebron have already got that out of their system. Plus, these guys are mates, and you don’t turn on your mates.

Jobba: Year 1 and 2 should be fine. Especially if they’re winning championships. Then it gets iffy.

Ash: I don’t think so, purely because they’re all so matey. It’s not Kobe/Shaq again. These guys all know what each other can do and are probably happy to let everyone do his thing and take turns playing alpha dog during the regular season, and I imagine Wade will be the main guy in the playoffs cause we’ve seen LeBron struggle and Bosh do nothing at that stage.

4. How does Cleveland recover from this?  Was Dan Gilbert justified in his scathing reaction to Lebron’s decision?

J.O: People must be allowed to voice frustration and anger over this. Losing LeBron the way they did, you can’t help but feel for Cleveland and Gilbert. This is extremely crippling for the franchise and for the sports psyche in that town. They all practically spilled blood to keep James happy and equipped him with enough talent to challenge for rings. Not enough in the end. LeBron’s ‘tentative’ performances in his final two games for Cleveland career will forever tarnish his image. Did he really give up? Sure did look like it.

Ant: Let’s get one thing clear: Gilbert wasn’t scathing because LeBron announced he’s leaving on national TV, or because Cleveland are going to struggle to scrape into the playoffs next year. He was scathing because LeBron single-handedly wiped almost 200 million from the value of his franchise without letting him know (and thus allowing him to sell). It was the mega-rich person’s equivalent of a hissy fit. One of the most pathetic and hilarious reactions to anything by anyone that I can recall, made all the more funny by the ridiculous font he chose. I’m pretty sure that’s the same font my folks used on my 8th Birthday Party invitations.

As for Cleveland, the unfortunate answer is that they don’t recover. Anderson Varejao (who I love), Hickson, Delonte West and whoever they draft next year will form the nucleus of their rebuild, I’m afraid.

Robd: I think there’s a lot of people that felt like Dan Gilbert, and it’s probably what some Cavs fans wanted to hear. But from a professional perspective, I thought it was pretty pathetic. Put it this way – if in 6 years Lebron is out of contract at Miami and was considering coming back home to Cleveland, would he really want to now that Gilbert has said these things?

As for the Cavs, they will no doubt have a very different look. You could argue that being less dependent on one superstar player might make them a more balanced team, and allow some of their players to grow.

What am I kidding, they will be fucking terrible.

Jobba: How does Cleveland recover? It waits for the 2011 first overall pick next year. Was D-Gilbert justified? Yes.

Ash: I think Dan Gilbert was absolutely justified. From what I can tell, he learnt at the same time we all did – from the TV. LeBron or someone in his camp should at least have given him and Chris Grant some kind of indication that he was headed out.

As for Cleveland recovering, well, who knows? I suspect that there may be a small case of Simmons’ Ewing Theory coming into play here – while they’re not title contenders by any means now, the “Fuck You LeBron” factor may just drive them hard enough to make the playoffs next year.

The thought of a Miami/Cleveland playoff series… Jesus.

5. Is Lebron a prick for the way he did this? (by ripping out the hearts of Cavs fans in an hour-long ego-massaging ESPN presentation)

J.O: Refer back to question 1. Ultra messy. Like walking in a room and seeing your partner getting it on with someone else, even though you’ve known he/she were suss all along…

Ant: I think it has less to do with LeBron and more to do with his agent/s completely misreading the situation. Essentially, the idea was that he was going to look like a dick for ditching Cleveland, but then he would look like a hero for donating money to keeeeeeds, and so he’d come out of the thing even. Unfortunately, someone forgot to tell his agent/s that announcing you’re donating money live on TV stopped being cool sometime in the 80’s, and nowadays just makes you look like a self-important jerkwad in need of positive publicity. So I can definitely see why Cleveland fans might feel aggrieved by how he went about it…but they’re kidding themselves if they think that there was any way to announce it that would have left them feeling OK with the decision.\

Robd: Honestly, I thought the whole reason he did this ESPN special was because he was choosing Cleveland, and that it would turn into a big soppy love-fest about his home town, with Lebron promising he would never stop in his quest to bring Cleveland a championship. I was obviously very wrong. I think Lebron could have handled it much better, but honestly I think it’s more due to his naivety and the marketing machine around him, rather than Lebron being a prick of a bloke.

Jobba: Seriously, the lead up to this I thought there would be a 30 minute mini-drama ‘LeBron goes shopping. Stay tuned for what store he decides to buy his clothes at.’ Or ‘Cereal or Toast for LeBron? find out live on ESPN.’ I’ll be honest, I thought it was so egotistic, I just waited for the news to be up on websites.

Ash: Absolutely. He came off as a complete prick with the ESPN special. That was a step too far anyway, and using it to knife the city of Cleveland in the back. Let me put it this way – before then, I liked LeBron. Now, I’m burning my Cavs #23 with the Cleveland fans. Anyone who follows cricket knows that the Indian fans like to burn effigies of players/officials/opposition player they’re pissed with – this is my attempt to carry on the old tradition.

I can’t believe someone as image-conscious as LeBron would agree to something like that, and I can’t believe none of his people were smart enough to tell him that this is a bad idea.

6. Lets talk basketball for a second. Can this trio co-exist on the court? What changes do Wade/Bosh/Lebron need to make to their game to accommodate each other?

J.O: Each must pick their spots to attack. Big men generally need touches early so Bosh gets first crack off the jumpball. To nutshell the rest, Wade and James dominate the rest of the game by alternating possessions, getting others involved and by the business end, having Wade close, while using James as a decoy to run the offense.

Ant: Well, Lebron and Wade are, in my book, the clear-cut number 1 and 2 players in the NBA. And they both do almost everything really well. So I expect them to run the team in turns, using the extra rest to really lock down on the defensive end. Basically, I expect them to work great together, although each should see a dip in scoring numbers obviously. Bosh I’m not so sure about, which is why I’m not crazy about this being called a “Big Three”. I guess “HUGE Two and a really good one-dimensional power forward” doesn’t have the same ring to it. Here’s my problem; if you had to build a team from scratch, Bosh would undoubtedly be one of the first 15 guys picked. He’s a ridiculous offensive talent. But he’s a poor defender, an average rebounder, and is much more effective with the ball in his hands at the elbow than having to cut or post up or whatever. And if Bosh has the ball in his hands, that means James AND Wade are standing around, which is just bad business. That’s why if I had James and Wade locked in, Bosh wouldn’t be in the top 30 guys I’d want next to them. I mean, nevermind Rodman, I’d take Joakim Noah over Bosh every day of the week for this team. When it’s all said and done, I’m not sure if Bosh looks much better at Miami than Rashard Lewis does at Orlando. That’s the last example we have of a pure scorer trying to become a complete role player. The question is whether Bosh’s ego can handle it as well as Lewis’ did.

Robd: Jon Barry actually said something smart during The Decision telecast (hard to find amongst the rest of the crap he spouted). He said there was no way Wade, Lebron or Bosh could be the same players we have seen the past seven years. He was right. There’s no way these guys can continue to dominate individually, statistically, to the extent we’ve seen since 2004. And it intrigues me incredibly. Will Wade develop a more consistent outside shot to make use of perimeter looks he will no doubt get when Lebron drives and kicks? Will Lebron go back to being the next Magic Johnson (like everyone was saying in 2004) rather than the next Michael Jordan? Will Bosh develop his defensive skills knowing he doesn’t have to carry his team offensively anymore? I think these things need to happen for Miami to win a championship.

Jobba: I will brave the storm and say this won’t work. D-Wade, C-Bosh and James all need the ball for long times to be effective. Unless they can all find a way to co-exist (obviously very possible), but its not like the other big 3 from Boston or Los Angeles which had games which fit into one another. Wade needs to be in a 1-v-1 situation all the time, as does LeBron. There is no Ray Allen who needs the ball for 2 seconds for a quality scoring opportunity. There is no passing big man like a Pau Gasol. It’s three fantastic 1-v-1 players.

Ash: I think Bosh will be OK – I’m sure he realised he wouldn’t be the first option on the Heat even if LeBron hadn’t joined. He’s gonna be fine as the third guy.

LeBron and Wade, I’m not sure. Honestly, I believe that Wade has to be that team’s No.1 scorer and allow LeBron to play the Magic Johnson role which I think he’s best suited to do without having to worry about carrying the scoring load every night.

Truth be told, though, I’m not totally sure how it’s gonna work with two ball-dominant players like LeBron and Wade. But I suspect they’ll work something out.

7. There ain’t much cap space left. Can they surround Wade, Lebron and Bosh with enough talent to win a championship?

J.O: Because James, Wade and Bosh are still in their mid to late 20’s, there’s plenty of time for Riley and co. to manipulate the cap, make trades and add pieces as the years go by. There’s still plenty of improvement to come also. That’s the scary part. Now they develop those talents together. This Big Three are yet to hit top gear in my opinion and that amounts to a 10-year window where plenty of rings can be hauled in. So much time in fact, which is why this tripod beats out Boston’s KG-Pierce-Allen alliance.

Ant: They’ll be able to get some cheapy point-guards and shooters pretty easily. The big question is whether they’ll be able to find a half-decent defensive big – those are guys that are notoriously hard to find and you usually have to overpay (see: Haywood, 55 million). That’s why the Mike Miller deal made no sense to me. That money should have been used to find help at the 5, because Jo-L Anthony and Dexter Pittman won’t cut it. Chris Bosh has shown in Toronto that he can’t and won’t defend the power bigs. If they find a half-decent defensive 5, I’ll back them. But until then, I have a feeling Pau Gasol and Bynum would do to Miami exactly what they did to Boston once Perkins fell.

Robd: For the short-term, I doubt it. They need a solid big who will rebound and defend, think Kendrick Perkins. Wade and Lebron can run the point for this team so I don’t see them needing a quality PG. But they will need to fill out that roster with good shooters, defensive stoppers, and some veterans (think James Posey). I think it will take them another off-season to get the roster right, but let me make this clear: with Wade, Lebron and Bosh as your core, you would have to be the worst GM in history NOT to get a championship in the next five years.

Jobba: Apparently Mike Miller will sign with the Heat also. I like Mario Chalmers, I think he will be a good fit for this team, a terrific defender and outside shooter. Joel Anthony is a big that will compliment Bosh. But really, it will be about getting some unglorified talent glorified. The Boston big three would not have worked unless Rondo and Perkins improved (and then Glenn Davis). Obviously for the Lakers your looking at Odom, Fisher and Artest playing less than key roles. Look at it like this:

‘08 Celtics: 4th, 5th, 6th Best Players: Rajon Rondo, Keiran Perkins, James Posey.
‘09 Lakers: 4th 5th, 6th Best Players: Lamar Odom, Trevor Ariza, Derek Fisher.
‘10 Heat: 4th, 5th, 6th Best Players: Mike Miller, Mario Chalmer, Joel Anthony.

More moves and improvements must be made.

Ash: Just on this topic, I really hope the Heat offer Jarvis Varnado (their 42nd overall pick this draft) a contract. He’s not only one of my favourites, but he’s the perfect role player for this team – he’ll protect the rim (leading shotblocker in NCAA history), rebound, play D and get out of the way on offense. If he’s there, I might not hate this Heat team. But I’m still selling my old Shaq Heat jersey as well. (Keeping the Wade rookie jersey cause I still like D-Wade, but only wearing it to sleep and around the house. Selling Shaq for money cause all the bandwagoners might snap it up).

Anyway, I don’t think they’ll have a problem signing guys. Every veteran chasing a ring will sign with them for the minimum – from what I hear, Mike Miller’s getting the MLE or similar.

8. Chicago & New York – No doubt their fans are disappointed. What lies on the horizon for these two teams?

J.O: Chicago- Trading Kirk Hinrich was a head-scratcher, and is Carlos Boozer really going to take them to that next level? If the Bulls were a western conference team, I’d salivate. But in the East with a reloaded Miami, stocked Orlando and battle-tested Boston, that’ll be a tall order.

New York- micromanage that cap and hope it gets a Chris Paul–calibre talent to run with Amare Stoudamire, otherwise they render him useless. Even selling MSG shares to Melo might help increase next year’s chances. At least they didn’t come away from this free agent summit empty-handed.

Ant: Chicago, barring injury, should easily get 50 wins. I actually think Boozer will be a better player for the Bulls than either Bosh or Amare would have been, it’s a really nice fit. If Rose learns to be a better passer (particularly in the Pick-and-Roll that Boozer so loves), I’d have them top 3 in the East alongside Orlando and Miami. Not sure they can beat either in a series though.

New York, on the other hand, paid 100 million for the 15% upgrade from David Lee to Amare Stoudemire, and otherwise will return with almost the same team as ‘10. They’re fucked. The fantasies of Carmelo or CP3 are just that, fantasies. Maybe they could steal away Tony Parker at a pinch, if Eva gets tired of San Antonio. That would make them a .500 team, I guess. On the bright side, D’Antoni will probably give Anthony Randolph consistent minutes, which will please fantasy owners world-wide.

Robd: I actually think Chicago could be better than Miami in the short term. When healthy Boozer is amongst the top 5 power forwards in the league. Noah will compliment him perfectly. With the extra help, Derrick Rose might be ready to break out an MVP-calibre season. They have cap space to sign players to fill their gaps (such as Ashton Kucher), and they have a new coach who should improve the team defensively. It all amounts to 2010-11 being a very promising season for the Bulls – potentially challenging for top 4 out East.

New York, at this stage, is still laughable. Amare is not even close to being a franchise player and I expect that to play out quite amusingly very early on in the season. They will try and replicate the high octane offense that D’Antoni enjoyed with the Suns, except this time they’ll do it without the best point guard of the last decade and the #1 ingredient in that offense. Like I’ve been saying to several people, New York will no doubt be more fun to watch, and possibly a playoff team in the East. But not close to being serious contenders.

Jobba: D-Rose and Boozer are a good combo for Chicago. They also still have Luol Deng, Noah, Gibson and James Johnson, with cap room. I think they are one player away from having a good big 3. For New York – heartache is on the horizon. Seriously, we may need someone to constantly monitor Tiz this season…

Ash: I think Chicago will be OK. They still got Pooh and Piglet (apparently Rose’s nickname is Pooh, and Joakim Noah is Piglet because he annoys me. Like Piglet does), and they just signed Mutant Ashton Kutcher which fixes their shooting problem. Along with Boozer, they’re gonna be contenders in the East this season.

New York, however, aren’t so good. They’re gonna have to overpay for a scrub PG like Ray Felton, and Amare will learn pretty fast that he can’t carry this team. Anthony Randolph will melt under the bright lights of New York as David Lee rips it up with Stephen Curry and the Warriors to the playoffs.

Tags: 2010 free agency, Chicago Bulls, Chris Bosh, Dwyane Wade, Lebron James, Miami Heat, New York Knicks

• 

At a private island somewhere in the Pacific…

Inside a large conference room in LeBron’s palatial island mansion, the King and Dwyane Wade sat at the head of a giant table. A series of chairs, each varying in comfort level, were spread around the table, placed horizontally.

LeBron: Damn, when are those guys gonna get here?

At that moment, his butler (Geoffrey from The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air) escorts David Lee into the room.

Wade: Hold on, hold on. Bron, you didn’t tell me you were gonna be inviting white boys!

LeBron: I didn’t! Who’s this cat anyway?

Lee: My name’s David Lee. Great to meet you guys. I…

Wade: Hold on a second. Were you invited? (He holds up a fancy-looking invitation).

Lee: Um…no, but Amare told me it would be here today and that you guys wouldn’t mind.

LeBron and Wade: (Together, in an angry undertone) Amare.

Lee: Yeah, so…

LeBron: Geoffrey, escort this fool out.

Geoffrey: Right you are, sir. Shall I send the ladies he brought with him as well? (Two hot blondes walk into the room.)

LeBron: Wait a second. Whiteboy, who they for?

Lee: Well, Amare also mentioned you guys might be having a party after and I wanted to fit in cause, you know, I don’t have a posse and all.

(LeBron and Wade glance at each other).

Wade: Alright, you and the ladies can stay. (motions toward the most uncomfortable chair at the table in the corner).

As soon as Lee took a seat, Geoffrey opened the door for Chris Bosh, Amare Stoudemire, Carlos Boozer, Joe Johnson and Rudy Gay. Wade pointed to seats for Boozer, Amare, Johnson and Gay as LeBron greeted Bosh enthusiastically.

Bosh: Sorry we’re late. Someone (glares at Amare pointedly) blabbed to the media about our meeting so we had to cover our tracks.

LeBron: Amare, man, you really got to keep your mouth shut.

Amare: Look, guys, I’m sorry, OK? I just wanted people to think that, you know, I’m legit. I’m not just the guy who runs off Nash’s shoulder and does some badass dunks. I wanted to make myself sound important in the media so some GM would think I deserve a max contract on my own.

(LeBron, Wade and Bosh, sitting in the centre of the table, break out in laughter)

Wade: Yeah! And…and…(he tries to get it out through his laughter) and I’m gonna give my ex wife more money cause she spread some bullshit story that I fucked my girl in front of the kids!!

Amare: Seriously, guys…what’s so funny?

LeBron: (wiping tears from his eyes). Amare, dawg, there’s only three people at this table who’re gonna get max contracts. You ain’t one of them.

Wade: Yeah man, no offense, but I averaged more blocks than you last season. LeBron: Seriously, no team is gonna be stupid enough to throw $100 million at a big muthafucka who can’t defend a fence post.

Amare: Come on…

Wade: I’m serious. (looks at Johnson, Boozer, Gay and Lee) And that goes for you sorry sons-of-bitches as well. If you fools think you can ride mine and Bron’s coattails to a max deal and a ring, yeah, not happening. You can have one or the other. You can go get a max deal from a shitty team like the Timberwolves or the Clippers, or you can come join us for half that.

Johnson: Really? That sucks.

Boozer: Yeah, I was hoping I could stab Utah in the back like I did with the blind guy who owned the Cavs. I wanted the money.

Gay: Dang. I may as well stay in Memphis now.

Lee: I’ll take a pay cut to win…

LeBron: Shut up, whiteboy.

Wade: (tries to calm everyone down) Guys, relax, we’re all gonna get paid. Let’s focus on the real issue we’re here. How do we get the best deal for all of us that gets us money and rings?

LeBron: Let me just say something first, dawg. Boozer here, he fucked up. He could have played with me at Cleveland and we’d’ve won five rings by now, but he went to fucking Utah. Why the fuck would you go to Utah, Boozer?

Boozer: (unsure what to say) Um…the money?

LeBron: Geoffrey! (Geoffrey walks in) Give this fool a slap for me.

Geoffrey: Right you are, sir. (he walks over to Boozer and slaps him upside the head).

LeBron: I ain’t playin’ with you, man. You had yo’ chance, and you blew it. Go back to the Mormon pussy in Utah for all I care.

Wade: Now that that’s settled, let me ask. Are any of you willing to play for less than max to come play with one of us?

Gay: Where are you guys planning to go?

Wade: Me, I’m staying in Miami. Why the hell would I leave? Great weather, no tax, just cruisin’ down South Beach and checking out the ladies…why the hell would I give that up?

LeBron: Man, I’m not sure. I wanna stay loyal to my homies in Cleveland, but…New York, dawg. It’s New York. Hard to say no. And that Russian guy who owns the Nets? He offered me his yacht and my own private jet. Just as gifts if I sign with them. It’s hard.

Boozer: Man, I just want my money. I don’t care who or where.

Amare: Yeah, dawg, me too. It’s all about the Benjamins for Amare.

Johnson: I’d have to agree with Amare and Booz. I’m the oldest guy here – my next contract negotiation will be when I’m 34 or 35. No one’s gonna be giving me $20 million a year then. If I get sick of it, I can just ask to be traded.

Wade: (pulls out a calculator and punches some numbers) OK, by my math two of you can sign max deals with Miami and then I can resign, since they sent Cook to Oklahoma City. If Bron goes to New York, there’s room for one more max guy there.

LeBron: To be honest, man, I’m thinking about staying in Cleveland more than anything.

(Everyone at the table inhales deeply)

Bosh: Dawg…why?

Before LeBron can answer, Geoffrey returns to the room.

Geoffrey: Sir, there is a large German man standing outside and it has started to rain so he is quite wet.

LeBron: Show him in, Geoffrey.

Wade: (whispers in LeBron’s ear) You invited Dirk?

LeBron: (whispers back) Come on, you wouldn’t rather play with him than these sorry cats?

Wade: Good point. (Dirk enters the room, soaking wet).

LeBron: Sorry about leaving you hangin’, man. Didn’t realize you were coming.

Dirk: Well, I managed to give Cuban the slip.

Lee: Wait a minute. How come he’s an OK white guy and I’m not?

LeBron: Cause Dirk’s a German. If I didn’t invite him, he gonna go Hans Gruber on my ass. (Lee has no response to this point).

Wade: Anyway, all we managed to conclude is that these guys are all money-grubbing assholes.

Dirk: You know me, man. I don’t care about the money.

LeBron: Right. Cuban still has your parents?

Dirk: Yes. He’s letting me have this little ego-trip for media purposes, but if I don’t resign with him they’re screwed.

Wade: So why’d you come, man?

Dirk: Well, I was hoping to convince someone here to take a sign and trade with the Mavs. I made Cuban promise that he’s not going to kidnap anyone or have any faces broken. (looks at Amare) Still sorry about that, man.

Amare: (waves it off) It’s OK, dawg. Not your fault.

Wade: OK, is anyone keen to go to Dallas?

(moment of silence)

Gay: I mean, I’d be keen, but where’s the cap room coming from?

Dirk: (shrugs) Hell if I know. I’d imagine he’d be doing some kind of deal that would involve Caron, Jet and other spare parts. You reckon Wallace would go for that?

Gay: Are you kidding? That guy’s dumber than a hamster. He’d eat that up.

(Before Dirk can respond, he gets electroshocked).

LeBron: You OK, dawg?

Dirk: Yeah. Cuban stuck this ankle bracelet on me when I was sleeping. He’s lost it.

Boozer: Did he ever have it in the first place?

Dirk: (laughs) Yeah, but what can you do? (he mumbles something along the lines of “Fucking Bucks” under his breath)
Wade: Aight, now we got Homo sorted. (Dirk gets electroshocked again)

Dirk: Sorry guys, I better go.

LeBron: It’s all good, man.

Dirk: Rudy, should I tell them you’re keen?

Gay: Would I have to wear one of those?

Dirk: Probably.

Gay: Would I get a max contract?

Dirk: If the trade works, yeah.

Gay: I’m in.

LeBron: Geoffrey, please escort Mr Nowtizki out and make sure he has a drink before he leaves.

(Dirk leaves with Geoffrey).

Wade: OK, we got Homo sorted. Chris, what are you thinking? You’ll get a max deal wherever you go. Wanna come to Miami?

Bosh: Man, I don’t know. I know I’ll get a max deal, but, you know, I don’t want to be your or Bron’s sidekick. I want to be the guy.

LeBron: Chris, dawg, I love you and all, but be realistic. You’ve been the man up in Toronto since Vince left. Have you ever won a playoff series?

Bosh: Yeah, but it’s not like I’ve had that many good guys around me.

Wade: Chris, your teams have been light years better of what Bron’s had, or I’ve had in Miami the last couple of years. Hell, in the playoffs in Boston I almost asked Spoelstra to call 911 to come resuscitate Jermaine O’Neal.

Bosh: OK, OK, fine, it’s my ego, whatever. Give me JJ or another good guy in my backcourt, I’ll make the playoffs for sure.

Wade: So you don’t want to come to Miami?

Bosh: Nah. If Bron’s not going to New Jersey, I might go there. That Russian dude seems pretty cool and I like the idea of having my own jet.

LeBron: Dawg, he ain’t giving you your own jet. You’re lucky if you get a Cessna.

(everyone at table laughs politely).

Bosh: Whatever. I’m gonna give him a call afters and accept. (looks to Johnson and Boozer) You guys keen to come with me?

Johnson: Sorry dawg. (shakes his head). I got an offer on the table from Chicago. Figure I might take it – Rose and Noah are a step up from Bibby and Smith.

Boozer: You mean they’re gonna take the shots you won’t in the second round.

LeBron: Shut up, traitor. JJ, so it’s Chicago for you then?

Johnson: Yeah.

Boozer: I might go to Chicago as well. Me, JJ, Deng, Rose and Noah would be a pretty kickass starting 5.

Amare: So none of y’all planning to go to New York?

Wade: Why, are you?

Amare: Hell yeah! They gonna give me a max contract, I can go play for D’Antoni again and get my stats back up, it’s New York!

LeBron: Only you won’t have Nash passing you the ball off the pick and roll this time.

Amare: (silenced, as Wade laughs). Well, it’s gotta be better than Phoenix right now. I actually have to play de-fense there!

Wade: OK Amare, you go to New York. That would be us, but I still don’t have a decent partner. (turns to Lee in the corner) Whiteboy, what do you wanna do? You’ve been up in New York for this long.

Lee: Yeah, New York City’s pretty cool, but I was the guy last year and got my stats and we sucked ass. I’d like to actually win for a change.

Wade: (smiles) I like you, Whiteboy. Wanna come play in Miami?
Lee: (stunned) For the Heat? W-with you?

Wade: Yeah with me fool! The clubs are sick even for you white boys and the ladies are the best. Course, you still ain’t getting max money…(but Lee passes out as LeBron’s mobile rings, and he answers it and starts talking) Geoffrey, can you fix this dawg up with a drink?

Geoffrey: Certainly, Mr Wade.

Wade: OK, so that’s us. JJ and Booz are going to Chicago, Amare’s going to New York, Chris is going to Jersey, Homo to Dallas, Whiteboy to Miami with me and Bron’s staying. (As he finished, LeBron got off his phone)

LeBron: That was Jesus.

Bosh: Christ?

LeBron: No, Shuttlesworth.

Bosh: Oh. (looks chastised).

LeBron: I explained the sitch to him. He says he’d be keen to go play in Miami for one last ring. You keen?

Wade: Hell yes. I’ll call him later.

LeBron: OK, I guess that’s it?

Wade: Yeah. Guess the summit’s over.

LeBron: Great talking with you guys. Now it’s time to party.

Gay: Great, I got my suit in the jet…

Wade: Who says you invited?

LeBron: This is a party for max contract players and ladies only.

(As he spoke, Wade flicked a switch and the chairs with Johnson, Boozer, Amare, Gay and Lee all fell through the floor. They eventually found themselves falling through a tunnel which ended at the outside entrance of the mansion.)

Amare: Dang.

Tags: 2010 free agency, Amare Stoudemire, Carlos Boozer, Chris Bosh, David Lee, Dirk Nowitzki, Dwyane Wade, Joe Johnson, Lebron James, Ray Allen, Rudy Gay

• 

With the silly season now in full swing, we only thought it fair to share our opinions on what could be the most exciting, entertaining, league-changing off season, ever! Today alone I read that these NBA “reporters” have learnt Lebron and Bosh are definitely going to Chicago. Then I read Lebron and Bosh are definitely joining Wade in Miami. Then I read Bosh is definitely going to NJ if Lebron splits without him. The Knicks are meeting with Wade. Wade denies planning a meeting with the Knicks. Lebron’s friends don’t want any part with New York. But sources indicate all of those close to him believe NY is where he wants to be.

Who to believe?
What to believe?
Why should we believe?

The truth is, no one knows the truth. Only the players. And that’s the fun part of free agency. Right now, we are all correct. All the crappy reporters are confident. All the GM’s are confident. I’m surely confident.

Today it is our bliss. In a week, things may not be so rosey (Derrick Rose pun unintended). So instead of the usual, “my sources indicate that…” type of free agency report, let’s look at this thing from a different perspective.

WELCOME TO FREE AGENCY FLIGHTS
“In 2010 you will have the flight of your life!”

Hot Destination #1
Miami – “Beach, Bikinis and Ball”

Price Includes:
- Twin share with D Wade most likely available
- An easy town to recruit more FA’s due to beaches, babes and the lifestyle of Miami
- Pat Riley’s guidance and leadership

Price excludes:
- Passionate fans
- The chance to bring a ring to a championship starved town (2006 champs)
- A highly respected NBA coach
- A team (roster currently consists of 2 players)

Travellers Beware of:
- Pat Riley’s next eventual power play
- You may run into Tim Hardaway and get locked into conversation
- Michael Beasley drooling on you as he sleeps through his career
- Sell outs were hard to come by even when the Heat were champions!

Who this deal applies to:
- Dwayne Wade, Amare Stoudamire, Carlos Boozer, Chris Bosh, Tracey McGrady, Joe Johnson

Hot Destination #2
Chicago – “Carry on tradition”

Price includes:
- Big market to play in
- Michael Jordan’s tradition
- Tour driver who will direct your trip – Derrick Rose
- Tour guide who will do all the talking – Joakim Noah
- 100 ESPN writers the chance to say ‘I told you so’
- A playoff tested “core” (see below), including an epic battle with the C’s

Price excludes:
- A head coach with any head coaching experience in Tom Thibodeau
- Any players who can consistently knock down a jump shot
- The bright lights associated with NY or LA

Travellers Beware of:
- MJ Dynasty comparisons haunting you in your sleep
- Being chocked by management (and his name is not even Latrell!)
- Walking by Michael’s statue every morning
- Joakim Noah accidentally smoking you
- A tight-ass owner who is scared to pay top dollar for the club (if they took advantage of MJ and Pip, can you really feel secure in your future there?)
- The fact that the ‘talented core’ we refer to is Rose and Noah, with Deng and Gibson as bonuses.

Who this deal applies to:
- LeBron James, Carlos Boozer, Amare Stoudamire, Chris Bosh, Rudy Gay, Joe Johnson

Hot Destination #3
New York – “S.O.S”

Price includes:
- Player favourite and Olympic assistant coach Mike D’Antoni and his freewheeling, entertaining, stat-inflating style of basketball
- Possibly the biggest market for sports in America (closely followed by LA and Chicago)
- The chance to revive the most dysfunctional franchise in the league and win the first championship for them in 4 decades
- Respected management in the form of Donny Walsh
- Tour security guard Danilo Gallinari who will do all shooting that is required of him
- Open bank courtesy of James Dolan
- Passionate fans who managed to sell out games staring Marbury, Fred Jones and Malik Rose.

Price excludes:
- Winning culture
- Low expectations
- Positive reviews from any NBA media (TNT crew for starters)
- An experienced core who are playoff tested
- A core group, full stop!

Travellers Beware of:
- The over-the-top press contingent
- Aftermath of Isiah Era still lingering
- Passionate New York fans
- The possibility of Al Harrington re-signing

Who this deal applies to:
- LeBron James, Chris Bosh, Amare Stoudamire, David Lee, Joe Johnson, Rudy Gay, Kyle Korver, Ray Allen

Hot Destination #4
Brooklyn, via New Jersey – Fancy some Russian Roulette?

Price includes:
- Derrick Favors
- Young team ready to develop (Lopez, Harris)
- Chance to play in Brooklyn
- The return of “the mouth”, Avery Johnson
- Chance to break the heart of every Knick fan

Travellers Beware of:
- Long layover in Newark before reaching Brooklyn
- The Nets have always been the ugly sister to the Knicks, regardless of the win-loss column
- Jason Kidd’s ex-wife sitting courtside still throwing death stares at Net players and officials

Who this deal applies to:
- Shaquille O’Neil, Amar’e Stoudamire, Al Harrington, David Lee, Chris Bosh, Lebron James

Travellers of note and their likely city of choice in 2010-2011

Lebron James
In my opinion there will be only 2 options, Cleveland or New York. He has been sleeping with the Cavs for so long that it makes sense to stay in his comfort zone and enjoy the same perks. He has however, been flirting with Lady New York for some time now. It is clear he fancies her and often dreams of her. If he is going to leave his current wife, I just don’t see him doing it with some other fling that walked by him at a party (Chicago, Miami, I’m talking about you). If he leaves, he is seeking out his dream date, and he’s gonna wine and dine her to the max (and for it!).

I feel his ego is too large to follow on in MJ’s footsteps in Chicago, and joining Wade’s team in Miami is going to feel like he’s essentially saying, “I couldn’t do it at Cleveland, D-Wade can I join the team and culture you have focused on you?” He craves the alpha dog status, and it won’t necessarily be his if he goes down South. Just staying in Cleveland means things will remain, and Lebron’s popularity will steadily grow as normal. But leaving and signing with New York would mean a dramatic shift for the NBA, a massive personal move for Lebron, his jersey becoming more commonly sold than any other NBA product and media attention Lady GaGa wouldn’t dare dream of.

Rumours have floated recently that Shaq would even follow him. Can you imagine the recruiting pitch Shaq and Lebron could put on for perspective free agents over the years, the squad would be filled out with Grant Hill type vets every year. Guys like Amare and Bosh would automatically shut down personal beefs with coaching staff or players (read: Shaq) and make this something very special. Lebron has a lot of pressure on him, and his mouthpieces Carter and WWW are not making things easier for him. Most NBA columnists believe for LBJ to be most successful he needs two things: A big man, and a shooter. Chicago have a big man, no shooter. Miami have neither of excellent standard. New York have a shooter, no big man. Whatever his decision, it will have massive implications on the rest of the league, and my happiness in life. Azza, get that $100 ready, coz I have a good feeling about this!
Tizzle Prediction: New York Knicks

Dwyane Wade
Seems the most loyal player out of this FA group and therefore more settled to stay in Miami. He has never shown any love or respect to New York, so for Wade I believe it comes down to a 90% chance he’ll stay put, 10% chance he forms a lethal back court with D Rose. He has plenty of reason to join forces elsewhere, but continues to openly refer to Miami as his team and by all accounts wants to recruit a superstar to join him. Lebron and Bosh graciously tip toe around the topic, whereas Wade states his desire is to remain with the Heat. He would most certainly have a better chance of success in Chicago, unless he connects up with an effective big man (No, not you J.O). Honestly who has he been playing with the last few years? With Pat Riley lurking, and the pressure of a championship already gone, I see D Wade sitting back and enjoying the sun for many years to come. Reports have surfaced that CB4 is a lock to join him, which would make Miami one hot ball club. Miami can’t afford 3 maxes like some reports claim. They still want to sign Haslem, and have a roster to fill out so if these guys all wanna get paid, only one will be able to join Wade.
Tizzle Prediction: Miami Heat

Chris Bosh
And the award for Free Agent most desperate to leave, goes to… Chris Bosh!! Removing all references to the Toronto Raptors from his Twitter account was music to my ears, but probably not the Toronto fans. Bosh has basically been playing ball out on the back court of the stadium that nobody realises is actually there, you know the one I’m talking about. The only problem I have is that there is a high chance he will go for a S&T. Bosh would be the perfect partner for Lebron, so this really is an uncanny opportunity for him to be available this off-season. The question is, where could they hook up? Next season the options for Bosh seem to be NY, Miami, Chicago, or long shot options in moving to Dallas (S&T) or joining the NBA’s best up and coming team The Thunder (S&T). Houston and Toronto remain in play, however unlikely. If he were to re-up in Toronto, Vince Carter and the rest of the NBA would label that the worst decision ever (just squeaking ahead of Sprewell attempting to feed his family by leaving $21M on the table). Bosh will be a superb Robin, to one of the Batman’s (Lebron or Wade). Hopefully he realises he will achieve more as a Robin than attempting to act as a Batman for too much longer, and join forces to turn the Knicks or Heat into finals contenders in 2010. People have claimed lately he and Lebron could join forces in Chicago (some idiot reports say it’s a done-deal) but Bosh is unlikely to go there if Lebron doesn’t. Bosh is the more attractive add on piece, so I believe Lebron will recruit him harder than the actual teams.
Tizzle Prediction: New York Knicks

Joe Johnson
A lot of talk has Joe Johnson being a very valuable chip in the Lebron sweepstake, so his impending decision will have a lot of meaning in it. The Knicks will be meeting with him on midnight supposedly to offer him a deal, before going to meet with the King. Joe’s playoffs were very forgettable, but the fact remains he is one of the top 5 free agents, and he will add a great piece to whichever team takes him. I see him, like Bosh, very ready to take on a new team and challenge. Joe will not be able to turn a team around on his own, so will have a lot of good reason to help in the recruiting pitch for fellow FA’s. Johnson gushes openly about Mike D’s offensive wizardry, and the feeling seems to be mutual. I know I’ve already told you I think Bosh and Bron will come to NY, but I’m no ESPN analyst with insider knowledge, so my prediction for JJ will void both of the previous guesses from coming true.
Tizzle Prediction: New York Knicks

Amare Stoudamire
Obviously things will be changing in Phoenix with Kerr stepping down, and in case you missed the last three seasons of NBA basketball and trade related rumours, Amare and the Suns have always been dancing around in circles, subtly watching the other partners they’d wish they could dance with. He has some health issues next to his name now, but the second half of last season was breathtaking, and he remains the second best big man option going into free agency. I strongly believe he will play with Lebron or Wade, depending on who Bosh signs with. Amare seemed to flourish when he was able to play the 4 last season, so it is important teams can have a decent big ready to go. Rumours have stated Stoudamire and Tony Parker have discussed playing in NY together, but my prediction today is the same as the moment Phoenix were knocked off. This decision will be about money first, winning second.
Tizzle Prediction: Miami Heat

Carlos Boozer
Wouldn’t it be great if he and Lebron somehow reunited? Cavs fans would enter a deep depression if it happened anywhere other than Ohio. Boozer has been a beast these past few years, and it seems his run in Utah is over. I think the options for Booze come down to Chicago or NJ, but to play it safely Utah still have an edge. The thought of riding it out and staying in the “norm” scares a lot of these guys, I really think the chance to gain extra attention through a team swap will have a significant impact this year and the power shift may be incredible. Boozer is a versatile big man who will give a guy like Derrick Rose, Joe Johnson, Devin Harris or Dwyane Wade a terrific partner in the pick n’ roll.
Tizzle Prediction: Chicago Bulls

I’m not going to go into all of the other guys but I think the fact everyone is claiming this and that about Miami and Chicago and no one is talking about New York is a bit odd. Surely they can’t strike out?! As a Knick fan I have endured some tough basketball times, but never have we had hope like this in the past decade. This is really amazing.

Chicago, Miami, and New York have the edge over all teams, purely based on the cap. New Jersey and Chicago have the edge over all teams, purely based on rosters. New York have the edge, purely based on coach/GM combo. And I could keep going…

Stay tuned, because we are all in for a real treat of theatrics and league altering maneuvers in the next two weeks.

Now just buckle up and enjoy the flight.

Tags: 2010 free agency, Amare Stoudemire, Carlos Boozer, Chicago Bulls, Chris Bosh, Dwyane Wade, Joe Johnson, Lebron James, Miami Heat, New Jersey Nets, New York Knicks

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Welcome to Ash’s Recap of the 2010 NBA Draft.

I had promised Rob a full draft diary, but Ekpe Udoh going at 6 kind of shit-canned that plan. More on that later, but needless to say I was too depressed to write more.

This can be a problem, because when I get depressed, I hit the liquor. I had an exam today at 2:00, which I did not sit fully sober. And I got yelled at by my mum for drinking.

However, a bit of food and a few hours later, and I’ve sobered up enough to write a recap of the draft.

OK, let’s start with the easy one – which teams drafted the best?

I never thought I’d say this, but…I genuinely think the team that drafted the best overall was the Clippers. They managed to fill their main hole at small forward (Al-Farouq Aminu), got a future replacement for Baron Davis in Eric Bledsoe and managed to steal Willie Warren with the 55th pick – if Warren can keep his head straight, he’s going to be a solid rotation guard in the NBA.

Just think about this for a second – the Clippers starting lineup next year as it stands is Baron Davis/Eric Gordon/Al-Farouq Aminu/Blake Griffin/Chris Kaman, with Eric Bledsoe, DeAndre Jordan, Willie Warren and Free Agent Combo Forward X to come. That’s a lineup with both young talent and experience (Boom Dizzle and Caveman Kaman) which, playing in the right style (i.e. up tempo, pushing the ball in transition) could conceivably be a playoff contender in the West next year and a real title contender in a year or two.

Yes, you read right. Of course, since this is the Clippers we’re talking about, this theory is heavily based on a) no freak injuries and b) Sterling’s desire to penny-pinch not getting the best of him. That old bastard has started to open his wallet a bit more in recent years, however, once all these guys need contract extensions, we’ll see if he’s for real.

The other team that made out like bandits were the Kings. While you could argue they got lucky, especially with grabbing Hassan Whiteside with the 33rd pick, you’ve got to admit that there’s something interesting brewing in Sactown. Whiteside and DeMarcus Cousins could, in time, become the next Gasol/Bynum. Or they could become the Sacramento Jail Queens. Who knows.

Oklahoma City and Portland also deserve mentions for their savvy trading. While I’m not wild on the Bledsoe for a future first trade made by Presti, getting Aldrich was a master move as he provides the Thunder with what they need most – a guy who can bang on both ends, grab rebounds and defend. Another savvy pick by the Mutant Sonics. Portland managed to dump Martell Webster on the Timberwolves for Ryan Gomes (a hustle/energy guy who’s the ideal 9th/10th man on a contender) and the rights to Luke Babbitt, who, quite frankly, is better than Martell Webster for less money.

OK, who screwed up?

A three way tie here – Knicks, Timberwolves and my not-so-beloved Warriors.

I’ve finally given up. The Ekpe Udoh pick was the last straw. I’m becoming a Kings fan for good now. Fuck you, Chris Cohan. Fuck you, Larry Riley. Fuck you, Robert Rowell. I’d also say fuck you to Don Nelson but he clearly didn’t have a hand in this pick as Udoh is not a Nellie player at all.

I have just one question. Surely after rolling the dice with two project forwards who eventually busted for two successive years (Ike Diogu and Da Notorious POB) less than five years ago, you’d think that they’d learn right? Udoh is going to be Ike Diogu 2.0. No question about it. Meanwhile, I’m looking for my old Jason Williams Kings jersey.

While the Warriors definitely made the biggest mistake in the draft, the Knicks’ screw-up may hurt them even more. With the 38th and 39th picks, they had a chance to add a couple of solid rotation players – the kind of guys you need on a championship team, which the Knicks want to show themselves to be to free agents.

Instead, they went for a guy described as a poor man’s JJ Redick – not the sort of player you want to be trying to lure free agents with. And if the silly season busts for the Knicks, good luck trying to sell Andy Rautins as your shooting guard of the future to Spike Lee and co.

As for Landry Fields, I’m a Stanford guy so I hope he has a good career…but once again, he’s a career 10th man. Not the sort of guy you can build around if it all goes pear-shaped this off season.

The Knicks could do worse than see what the Heat did with their two consecutive second round picks. Using the 41st to select Jarvis Varnado (a middle class man’s Ben Wallace) and the 42nd to select Da’Sean Butler (a future rotation player who isn’t afraid to make big shots) shows what the Knicks should have done. Grab a couple of role players and make room for the stars, not just assume that grabbing the stars and throwing them in will solve all ills.

As for the Timberwolves…if David Kahn hasn’t earned the title of NBA’s Village Idiot GM from Chris Wallace (and if Larry Riley hasn’t taken it first), he’s surely got it now. At least Wallace picked fairly smart with this draft (while I’m not sold on Greivis Vasquez as a first round pick, Xavier Henry will be a solid replacement for Rudy Gay once he leaves skid marks going out to New York/New Jersey/Miami/Chicago).

In fact, I think David Stern should make a rule that as long as David Kahn is the Timberwolves’ GM, they can not have more than two picks every draft.

In case you didn’t know, Kahn once again picked three players who all play the same position (small forward) in Wes Johnson, Luke Babbitt and Lazar Hayward. If that wasn’t enough, he went and traded Babbitt to Portland (along with Ryan Gomes) for Martell Webster! Martell Freaking Webster! Why would you trade for a guy who not only plays the same position as your number 4 and 30 picks, but plays exactly freaking like the 4th pick only not as well and is a career backup?

Seriously, once I finish covering the Free Agent Summit I suspect I might have to drop into the Atrocious GM Meeting of 2010. Kahn, Wallace and Riley will all be there – Isiah Thomas and Kevin McHale will be the MC and convener respectively. I suspect Donnie Walsh might also be joining them when all is said and done.

Who went too high? Who slipped?

The answer to the first question is Ekpe Fucking Udoh. There are probably others, but that’s about it. I guess you could also make a case for Gordon Hayward, but since his sister won the “Beer Goggles of the Year” award (I was drinking when I saw her interviewed so I thought she was kinda hot. Once I saw it again after sobering up…no. Although I probably would, but that’s cause I’m a man whore.) I’ll count that as an achievement of his and say he deserves his spot. Although he was clearly drafted as either a friend for Mutant Ashton Kutcher (if he stays) or as his replacement for the hearts of teenage Mormon girls in Utah.

As for slips, there were a few, particularly later in the draft. Ed Davis dropping to Toronto at #13 surprised me, as did Babbitt falling out of the lottery to #16. And the second round was such a mess it became almost impossible to predict. Guys who I had predicted as potential late first rounders (like Stanley Robinson, Gani Lawal and Willie Warren) fell down or almost fell out of the draft altogether, while some guys who hadn’t even been on my radar (like Trevor Booker and the previously-mentioned Andy Rautins) shot up the board. Further proof that the draft is a total crapshoot.

Who’s gonna be the biggest bust?

You mean, other than Udoh? (By the way, I’m calling him Homer from here on out. Both for the ‘Doh! factor in both his name and the way the entire GSW fanbase felt when they heard his name announced, and because you’d have to be a total homer to not hate this pick).

To be honest, no one else really stands out as a bust in that way, unlike Thabeet last year (you could tell he wasn’t going to be worthy of a No.2 pick). The only possibility is that Derrick Favors has a freak run with injury (And never gets to touch his potential). Or if you buy into the hype that DeMarcus Cousins is a baby Shaq when he’s really closer to Zach Randolph but more committed on D.

Otherwise, no one really.

Does anyone know any good hitmen in the Bay Area?

Now I’m asking the question. Does anyone?

Until I get an answer, I’m gonna drink myself into oblivion.

Tags: 2010 draft, Ekpe Udoh, NBA Draft

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