“Just to be clear with everyone that are asking where I’m playing next year, I have a lot of work to do before I think about a team!”
- Jermaine O’Neal on Twitter.

No one gives a shit, Jermaine.

”At that time, that could have hurt me being loyal. But a lot of times, I don’t think about it because that’s the person that I am. In some crazy sort of way, if I died helping a teammate or a friend or someone that I love, I think I could live with it. My family probably couldn’t, but I think I could.”
- The Spurs’ Stephen Jackson, on his troubled history.

Get it?

“Happy Father’s Day to all those who claim to be fathers.”
- Miami’s Dwayne Wade, delivering a brutal zinger to the assembled media on the US Fathers Day.

Take that, you media scum!

“I’m just leaving it up to my agent and Sam. They’ll do a pretty good job of working it out. I’m focused on several other things right now. But when the time is [right], they’ll figure it out and it’ll be done….This is something special here. A dynasty is being built here. So we’re winning, we’re having fun and we’re brothers. The other stuff, you can’t buy it….. This team is like a family. Like, we’re really brothers. We hang out most of the time every single day. You won’t find any other team like this. I love it here.”
- OKC’s James Harden on his future.

That’s telling.

“congrats to my homie @jimmerfredette and his big day …also his big night!! Haha”
- Sacramento’s DeMarcus Cousins on Twitter, to Jimmer Fredette on his wedding day (he is (or presumably was) a virgin).

I bet he’s glad to get that monkey off his back.

“I made some egregious errors. I apologize for any embarrassment I may have caused my family, friends and, of course, the Warriors. At that time in my life, I was not pastoring. Three years ago, my wife and I established a ministry. With deepest regret, I want to apologize to my Church Family. I was wrong. We must live Holy.”
- Warriors coach Mark Jackson, who was recently the target of an extortion attempt over nude photos he sent of himself to a stripper.

This guy is a bloody fraud.

“Get this straight. What you guys say doesn’t make me happy, make me sad, doesn’t do anything. It’s all about my team and us winning a game. I don’t have a personal challenge against you [media] guys, and it’s not me against the world. It’s not the world against me. It’s me and my teammates trying to win.”
- OKC’s Russell Westbrook addresses the media during the Finals.

Love it!

“Have you stopped beating your wife yet?”
- NBA Commissioner David Stern to sports talk radio personality Jim Rome, in response to a question about public perception that the NBA had rigged the 2012 NBA draft lottery to ensure that the New Orleans Hornets came away with the No. 1 overall selection.

Whoa!

“You start out Sunday morning in church. Say three Hail Marys. I’ve got some Buddha beads. You pray to all the gods.”
- Miami’s Shane Battier when asked how he approaches guarding Kevin Durant.

Probably your best approach.

“I always hired guys that were kind of family to me. I always figured I could teach all the basketball I’ve been taught, but I could never teach people to love me. And I just had a real warm feeling about Billy. So I hired him, and it was one of the best decisions I ever made.”
- Former coach Larry Brown, on why he hired Billy King (current Nets GM) as an assistant coach when he was running the Indiana Pacers, and subsequently took him along to Philly as the GM when he coached there.

Yikes.

“It’ll be good to reunite with him. When he left there wasn’t any bad blood between me and him.”
- New York’s Carmelo Anthony on playing for his former coach Mike D’Antoni at the Olympics (he’s an assistant).

This guy is the worst liar out there.

“It was gambling money, to be honest with you. Any time you try to time the market, you get what you deserve. Sometimes you’re right. Sometimes you’re wrong. This time I was wrong.”
- Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban, after losing $200,000 on lagging Facebook stock recently.

Yeah, that’s probably like $20 to you or I.

“LeBron is not a good defender. He can play defense for two to three minutes but not 48 minutes. LeBron can’t play (Durant) one-on-one.”
- OKC’s Serge Ibaka, during the Finals.

What game is he watching?

“I don’t really care what he says, he’s stupid. Everyone says something to me every series, then (the media) tries to get a quote. It’s stupid.”
- LeBron’s response.

The perfect response.

“Russell can wear anything. He’s great looking, he has an incredible body, a great smile. Anything, he’s going to look good. I have to dress up nice to look decent.”
- Thunder coach Scott Brooks, on Russell Westbrook.

Ease up there, Scotty.

“He’s working each and every day, putting a lot of effort into it, and we’re optimistic that if he continues to make the type of progress that he has, that we’ll see Derrick back on the floor at some point next season.”
- Chicago GM Gar Forman on Derrick Rose.

Next season is a write off, Bulls fans.

“Right now, I’m not really sure [about the future]. Watching the playoffs and looking at teams, being 35 years old and being a veteran, you have to pick where you’re gonna go as far as playing basketball. And those doors are still open for myself….The windows for basketball are still open for me.”
- Former player Steve Francis.

Delusional.

“No brain all beard.”
- The Lakers’ Metta World Peace continues his weird vendetta against James Harden (whom he brutally layed out), with this tweet after Harden picked up a critical blocking foul on LeBron James at half-court, as the Heat were up 88-85 with 16 seconds left in Game 3 of the NBA Finals.

What more can you say, he’s a weird dude.

“Bynum ,Gasol,World Peace,Bryant, Whoever fills in point position. The league is building teams to match that. Don’t forget it.. Lakers”
- World Peace again, on Twitter.

Sure.

“Of course. I mean, we both have respect for each other. And we’re both basketball-minded guys. I mean, yeah, that’d be no problem. But I’d probably rather have him working for me than me working for him.”
- Phil Jackson, when asked if he could ever work with or for Pat Riley.

Two ego maniacs like Jackson and Riley working together? As revealed from his last line there, it would never happen.

“But I’m going to shoot until my arm falls off in the fourth.”
- OKC’s Kevin Durant after their Game 3 loss to Miami.

I like the mentality.

“Them complaining and crying to the referees in transition.”
- Boston’s Rajon Rondo during a halftime interview of Game 4 against Miami, when asked how Boston had been able to exploit Miami’s defense to the tune of 61 first half points.

A bit different to the usual tripe offered up in these halftime interviews.

“They’re a good team, playing in the Western Conference Finals. It’s not like we’re playing the Sisters of the Poor.”
- Spurs’ coach Gregg Popovich, on their struggles against OKC.

You got that right, Gregg.

“I want to make it clear, we’re not looking for quick fixes. We’re not looking for aging veterans that can slide us into the eighth spot and we’re right back here a year from now trying to figure out what to do.”
- New Blazers’ GM Neil Olshey, when asked if Portland would look at signing Steve Nash in free agency.

I like the sound of this guy.

“Sometimes it’s where you’re at. If he was in Los Angeles, Chicago, somewhere, it would be a little different. Being in Oklahoma kind of dims his light a little bit, not him on the basketball court but him off the court….There’s not a lot of exciting things going on out here. “
- Dwayne Wade, saying that geography plays a role in preventing Kevin Durant from maximizing his star power.

I think you’re a bit out of touch on that one, Dwayne.

“There’s a lot of heart on this team. Let me just tell you. KJ is great but Hondo is really the inspiration. Hondo drives that team. I’m really pleased what’s happened the last few nights.”
- Boston Mayor Thomas Menino, showing off his hoops knowledge.

In a sports mad city like Boston, that’s pretty disgraceful.

“I tell people all the time had Chauncey not got injured we was going to win the championship,”
- The Clippers’ Chris Paul on Chauncey Billups’ injury.

Er, yeah right.

“I’m going to try to kill everybody. I’m going to go after every team that I step on the floor against. There’s really not going to be a specific team that I’m going to point out and just try to kill. I’m going to try to kill everybody.”
- Draftee Thomas Robinson, fired up for the NBA.

I like it.

“He’s a 6-10 guy with a 7-4 wingspan who can shoot it from the parking lot. He’s posting up now. In transition he’s so long that, when he gets a pass from the 3-point line, it’s a layup or dunk with one step. He’s got the one- or two-dribble pull-up, which you need to be a great scorer, because you can’t just shoot 3s or go to the basket if you want to be a great scorer, ’cause sometimes you can’t get all the way to the bucket. He can go both ways, one or two dribbles and up. And he’s clutch, too. He’s hit big shot after big shot all season long. He made three game winners on us this year. I thought he’s always been clutch, but now it’s almost like you know he’s going to make them. He’s phenomenal.”
- Dallas’ Dirk Nowitzki on Kevin Durant.

That’s a pretty good description right there.

“Perk is probably the only real post man in this series, and they don’t really want him to do that stuff. He’s a defender. Chris Bosh? He’s a jump shooter as opposed to a real banger. You look at those older teams, and you had Wilt Chamberlain and Hakeem Olajuwon and Patrick Ewing, and those guys would really bang you on the block. Even Bill Cartwright would get the ball for the Bulls sometimes down there! You could never have told those guys that one day we’d get a Finals that would be a straight-up perimeter game.”
- The Grizzlies’ Tony Allen, on this year’s Finals series between Miami and OKC.

Good point.

“But those mother——s were just better than us.”
- Stephen Jackson after they were eliminated by the Thunder in the WCF.

Amen.

“Uh, I’m always excited. I’m either excited or not excited. So whenever I play … I escaped death one time. And basketball was almost taken away from me, so to be able to live my life and be able to play basketball is definitely fun. I enjoy my time out there, and sometimes I can’t control myself.”
- Miami bench warmer Ronny Turiaf.

Best towel waver in the NBA, and it’s not close.

“Lord willing, I will play again soon. Yes, I’m preparing for a comeback. I’m training daily. I’m preparing for a return next year. I appreciate the love. Hopefully I’ll be back on the floor soon. Health is good.”
- Brandon Roy.

I would love to see him back, even as a role player.

“Mario has heart. He actually thinks he’s the best player on this team. That’s his gift and his curse.”
- Miami’s Dwayne Wade, on Mario Chalmers.

He’s underrated.

“I believe that my time is coming. I’m a big believer in that, whether it’s this year or next year.”
- Carmelo Anthony, after his good friend LeBron James took out the title.

“This year or next year”? Something would have to drastically change then because these Knicks aren’t in the same stratosphere as a Miami or OKC.

“This is the No. 1 thing. I never imagined representing New York Like this.”
- Carmelo again, after being ‘immortalised’ in wax at Madame Toussauds in New York.

I’m sure Knick fans would disagree with that. Winning is the No. 1 thing and it ain’t close.

“I wasn’t gonna take that job; that’s for sure….Well, it just– there’s just too much work that has to be done with that team. You know? It’s just not quite– it’s clumsy. It’s a little bit of a clumsy team. It’s not, you know.…… Well, they don’t fit together well. (Amare) Stoudemire doesn’t fit together well with Carmelo (Anthony). Stoudemire’s really good player. But he’s gotta play in a certain system and a way. Carmelo has to be a better passer. And the ball can’t stop every time it hits his hands. They need to have someone come in that can kinda blend that group together.”
- Phil Jackson when asked whether or not he would have coached the Knicks.

He’s spot on. But I think things could have been different if he was actually approached about the job (which he never was).

“The jungle was rockin’ tonight. I want to thank all the fans who came out. [Expletive] jungle was rockin’ tonight. I loved it. [Expletive] loved it. [Expletive] it.”
- Boston’s Kevin Garnett after their Game 3 win over Miami in Boston.

That’s KG.

“[It's] almost a surreal feeling. I told my teammates it felt like I have been wandering the NBA wilderness for the last 10 years.”
- Shane Battier on finally playing for an NBA Championship.

Happy for him.

“He is great for our game. He is our game.”
- Boston’s Keyon Dooling on LeBron.

Well said.

“If….only if….[Danny Green] wuda hit a shot, mighta been a diff series…suppose to b a shooter n doesn’t show up on the big stage smh”
- The Spurs’ Danny Green on Twitter, blasting himself for going 4-23 from three in the Western Conference finals.

Not the end of the world bro. You’ll get a decent contract (he’s a free agent).

“Well, there’s a number of thoughts there. My first thought is that Chris Broussard has no knowledge of coaching and wouldn’t know it if he saw it.”
- Stan Van Gundy, when asked ‘What are your thoughts on Chris Broussard writing that Erik Spoelstra is in over his head?’

True.

“I hope now you guys will stop talking about LeBron and that he doesn’t play in big games. He was pretty good tonight. Now that’s to bed. We can go ahead and play Game 7.”
- Boston coach Doc Rivers to the media after LeBron’s Game 6 explosion in the ECF.

That’s not how the media works, Doc.

“Victoria, she sounds like she’s hot, but she’s actually cold”
- Metta World Peace reading a weather forecast on Canadian television.

That’s a classic.


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