“Right now, Kobe Bryant allows me to coach him.”
- Laker coach Mike Brown.

I like the ‘right now’ part.

“If I become president, I won’t be able to party anymore. If the country says it’s necessary, I’ll marry.”
- Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov on his desire to become the Russian President. By the way, he’s 46 years-old.

Lucky woman.

“This kid (Greg Stiemsma) has got the same timing as Bill Russell.”
– Boston play-by-play announcer Tommy Heinsohn.

‘Senile: Having or showing the weaknesses or diseases of old age, esp. a loss of mental faculties’. Yup.

“He is not a knucklehead. JaVale is a good kid. My son is special. He has gifts you can’t teach: hands, height and heart.”

And this:

“My son is the future of the NBA. I don’t want him to be part of this culture of losing forever.”

And this:

“We don’t do second. We win championships. He’s a McGee. He has to come back to All-Star and represent.”
- JaVale McGee’s mother Pamela.

Oh, mum!

“People say don’t fall in love with (the jump shot) but it loves me and I love it back.”
– Miami’s Chris Bosh.

Sissy.

“Food. Drinks. By the time he brings the food, there’s no food left. He usually eats it before he brings it to the table.”
- Orlando’s Dwight Howard, when asked by the Boston media what Glen Davis brings to the Magic.

I am sure the notoriously sensitive Big Baby loved that comment.

“I’m just not a great practice player. That’s what I wasn’t. I was a gamer. You put me in a game and the lights are bright and the stands are filled. That’s just what I was. But you practice, get up and down and do this. That wasn’t my thing.”
- Atlanta’s Tracy McGrady.

‘We talkin’ bout practice!’.

“In my opinion we have the best backcourt in the business, we have an all-star caliber power forward, we have solid role players, and we are a defensive-minded basketball team.”
- Warriors coach Mark Jackson.

More delusions of grandeur from Wacko Jacko.

“My thing is, I don’t really watch basketball so I don’t know who anybody is. So when I match up against them, they are a regular player. I know the major players like LeBron [James], Kobe [Bryant], [Dwyane] Wade but all the extra ones I don’t know. Even if I did know them, I’m not going to be afraid. We are playing basketball.”
- Atlanta rookie Ivan Johnson.

Props for honesty.

“It feels good to give the fans Taco Bell.”
- Portland’s Luke Babbitt, who made a 3-pointer with 29 seconds remaining to put the Blazers over 100 points in their 101-89 home win over the Kings. As a result, every fan in attendance won a free Chalupa from Taco Bell.

A classic line; it could be a t-shirt.

“He’s the boss right now, so we’ve got to work with him.”
- Sacramento’s Tyreke Evans, after Keith Smart landed the head coaching gig.

Ease up on the enthusiasm Tyreke.

“It’s tough to sit on the bench & see the players, they are playing & they are playing bad.”
- Washington rookie Jan Vesely

Poor bugger. Not a great way to start your NBA career.

“That was my young fella. I taught him everything he knows. … I’m one of the better defenders in the league and we played against each other every day in practice. I told him if you can score against me, you can score on anyone.”
- Golden State’s Kwame Brown, claiming credit for Andrew Bynum’s success.

It’s hard not to laugh.

“I just think everybody needs to stop talking about it. There’s more to life than free throws.”
- Dwight Howard in the wake of his 21/39 free throw effort against the Warriors.

Actually Dwight, you do get paid $18 million per year to care about this stuff, to work on your craft and to make free throws when your team needs them.

“He needs to sit down and get on with his life.”
- Dwight Howard on Shaq’s constant criticisms.

True. But he’s already sitting down.

“He indirectly threw him under the bus.”
- Magic GM Otis Smith on the impact Dwight Howard’s trade demand has had on Jameer Nelson.

Again, true, but such is life in the NBA when you don’t cut the mustard.

“We want Woodson!”
- The chant from a desperate New York Knicks fan base during another home loss. Mike Woodson is D’Antoni’s assistant coach.

Ignorance. You get what you deserve I suppose.

“I call em the Bullets, cause I wanna shoot em.”
- Charles Barkley on the Wizards.

Don’t we all.

“As he gets older and drinks more wine, he gets more patient.”
- San Antonio’s Tony Parker on coach Greg Popovich.

Yeah, Pop does seem like he’s mellowed some.

“You’ll see. It’s beauty. It’s all going to happen and then we’ll look back at it rather than prejudge it. I happen to think it’s going to be good for all of us, and it’s going to hit small market and large market teams alike.”
- David stern on the new CBA.

Players are still being grossly overpaid, the stars can still leverage their way out and onto a team of their choice, and small market teams (like OKC) will struggle to retain all of their players in the future. The lockout was a sham – no more, no less.

“He’s a dog. He’s going to fight to win, and not too many teams can deal with him. Chris Paul is really the only other guy in the league, other than Derrick Rose, who has also that competitive edge.”
- The Lakers’ Kobe Bryant after a loss to Chris Paul and the Clips.

I am sure guys like Dirk, Griffin, D-Wade and KD would take issue with that.

“There’s a couple [expletives] in this league you don’t mess with – and Metta is one of them.”
- Kobe Bryant, after MWP brutalised the Clippers on Jan 25.

Yeah, you never know when Ron-Ron, er, Metta, will blow a geyser.

“I’ll be a big-time player. It’s going to be brighter days and I have a feeling it’s coming.”
- Philadelphia’s Evan Turner.

I like his confidence.


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