As promised, here’s Part 2 of the ‘Lockout Doozies’ edition.

And so long as the asshattery continues so will this piece, because at this point moronic statements are about as good as we’re going to get from these clowns.

“Michael Fake Jordan is a sell out. #Period. He forgot which hole he came out of.”
- Stephon Marbury on Twitter.

Stephon Marbury ridicules Michael Jordan, and gets away with it? The world really has gone mad.

“Groupies know we don’t have a job … Now we can’t use “I play in the nBA” as a pick up line”
- Washington’s JaVale McGee on Twitter.

He’s screwed then.

“Dear china the fact that u won’t let me work my Skype on my desktop or twitter is really pissing me off. Not even YouTube wow this is ass!”
- JR Smith on Twitter.

Careful there young fella.

“Didn’t sign up for this..”
- Smith again on Twitter.

Oh yes you did.

“I don’t tell nobody, but I feel like I can be better than Michael Jordan. When I’m done playing, I don’t want people to say, Michael Jordan is the best player. I want that to be me. That’s how I am. That’s how I was built. I feel like I’m better than him, anyway. My mom is going to say I’m better than him.”
- Washington’s Jordan Crawford.


“Just found out the owners and the NBA are trying to take free parking from us too smh…. 20 bucks to park at the arena for players.”
- Indiana’s Danny Granger on Twitter.

Welcome to the real world buddy.

“They have a name for this. It’s called asshattery. Asshattery with a circus tent over it, and soon, no audience — no one left who cares.”
- CBS scribe Ken Berger, after talks broke down with federal mediator George Cohen in October.

I usually don’t include writer’s quotes in this segment but this was too good to ignore.

“I’ve learned how to be a complete floor general”
- Minnesota’s Michael Beasley on his offseason workouts.

I’ll believe it when I see it.

“Fighting over 3 percent, that’s kind of retarded to me.”
- Beasley on the lockout.

B-Easy – the voice of reason.

“We think that Michael is a great kid, and we’re wishing the best for him, but he was just not a good fit for our firm. Michael is at the stage in his life and his career where he just needs to take a step back and reevaluate a lot of things in his life.”
- A representative from the PR firm S & S Associates, on their unsuccessful three week partnership with Michael Beasley.

They can’t work miracles I suppose.

“I’ll play for anybody.”
- A desperate Allen Iverson.

He’s completely blown it, but it’s hard not to feel sorry for the guy.

“The negativity toward Phil didn’t come from Mitch [Kupchak,GM]. It was more from Jimmy Buss just doubting some of the decisions he made in terms of how he was handling and running the team and coaching the team on the sidelines, and sitting down instead of getting up. People look at coaches and want them to pace up and down the sidelines and bark instructions to the guys. That’s not Phil’s demeanor. That was viewed as a negative in my estimation — but it won him five championships with the Lakers and six with the Bulls, and that was his coaching style when he won, so why was that not acceptable now?”
- Former Laker assistant coach Brian Shaw (now with the Pacers).

So Jimmy Buss had issues with the way Phil Jackson coached? Understandable, considering Jimmy’s vast amount of experience…….

“If you’re efficient and put quality work in, we can move on. Ultimately, it’s a long season. We will go over this stuff, well go over it in detail and then we’ll be out of here. I’m not a guy who wants to keep players here three or four hours just to say we’re here.” Jackson said he’s not the kind of coach who will be working 16-hour days, laboring over game tapes and spending an inordinate amount of time mulling the nuances of his job. He called coaches and coaching staffs that are said to be in the office before sunrise and out of the office after the sun goes down are guilty of “false hustle.”
- New Warriors head coach Mark Jackson.

Be worried Warriors fans.

“How’s it feel to be apart of ruining the best game in the world? NBA owners/players don’t give a damn about fans.. and guess what? Fans provide all the money you’re fighting over.. you greedy a** pigs.”
- An angry fan tweets Miami Heat owner Micky Arison.

“You are barking at the wrong owner.”
- Micky Arison responds.

- Arison’s response after another fan on Twitter asked him what he thought about eccentric Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling.

Way to throw your fellow fat cats under the bus Mickey!

“There’s no question in Game 5 LeBron was kind of out of it. … I always believed he could turn it on at any moment, but for some reason he didn’t. Not against the Celtics in 2010 and not against the Mavericks in 2011. It was weird. It’s one thing to be a passer, but you are supposed to be the One. I’m watching him play against Dallas, and they’re swinging the ball and they get him a perfect open look — and he’s kicking it to Mario Chalmers(notes). Makes no sense.”
- Shaq comments on LeBron James in his new book.

It made no sense to us either.

“Some guys come into the league without a ton of props, so there’s not a whole lot of pressure on them. Then they sign a big deal and all of a sudden they’re thrown into the spotlight. Chris Bosh is like that. He’s getting all this attention, so he starts believing he’s really good. C’mon now. We know better. He’s a player who can put up some numbers, but he’s not an elite player. He was in Toronto eight years and they were never a factor, never a playoff team. Don’t get with those other two guys and start pounding your chest. I ain’t buying it, and I’m not the only one.”
- Shaq on Chris Bosh.

It’s hard to disagree with him.

“They seem hell-bent on self-destruction. It’s just a big charade. It’s really irresponsible given the timing of it. The union is ratcheting it up to see if they can scare the owners into something, and that’s not happening.”
- David Stern after the players rejected the deal and dissolved the union.

C’mon David. The guy pig-headedly drives the bus towards a cliff, then at the last moment takes his hands off the wheel and says, ‘it’s not my fault’?

“We’re about to go into the nuclear winter of the NBA.”
- David Stern

For your own sake, you better hope not.

“I hope they realize that by throwing their chests out at each other, they’re not going to get this deal done. I know when I want to get something, it never works when my chest is sticking out. …It seemed like we just had a couple of issues, and now we have to go to court. You don’t want to waste that amount of money going to court. But you stick your chest out, and now we are. If you want to negotiate with us, then don’t make it a pissing contest.”
- Free agent Glen ‘Big Baby’ Davis.

And that, essentially, is why we are where we are – EGO.

“It’s unfair to the players, it’s unfair to the fans because it’s only going to lead to a longer lockout. A negotiation is a negotiation, and that’s the way it should be, but this is more dictators than anything, and I don’t feel this is going as a negotiation.”
- Free agent Tyson Chandler.

He’s earned what, around $75 million in his career so far? In that case, give me a ‘dictator’ boss any day.

“The biggest difference from college and high school to the NBA is the fact that you are your own man, you’re a grown man, and you have to make decisions on your own. That’s the part I didn’t think about as much. You just think about the basketball side of things. But at the end of the day, you’re like, ‘Man, I gotta manage my bills, I got all these other issues that come with all this money and all the attention, the responsibility of being an NBA player.’ It’s hard to deal with especially at 19 or 20 years old. Most people don’t deal with that until they’re 30 or 35 years old, so it’s a different kind of world.”
- The Grizzlies’ Mike Conley on his decision to enter the NBA early.

On what planet do people not have to manage bills until the age of ’30-35’?

“The biggest adjustment was to the NBA lifestyle — paying bills, taking care of my family, the women coming at you. I’m just being honest.”
- Chicago’s Derrick Rose on his entrance into the NBA.

We can only dream.

“I would slap the shyt outta u if I seen u in person… I play hard every game.. this ridiculous… didnt kno racism still existed… might have to pack my bags”
- Denver’s Ty Lawson on Twitter, getting into it with Lithuanian fans.


“Why didnt negotiations start right when the lock out started..too much pride and greed.. Greed is what’s ruinin the world.”
- Lawson again on Twitter.

Spot on.

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