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Trying to figure out how a man beats a team 1-on-5 on a play like that? Yeah, me too. This might help you understand.

1. Joakim Noah – The first guy that Wade makes look like a complete dick. Possibly the worst help defense I’ve seen. The funniest bit, is that if you watch it again closely, it actually takes Noah one full second to realize where the hell Wade went on that play.

2. John Salmons – Was Wade’s direct defender on the play, who in fairness had the Jermaine O’Neal screen to deal with. But he was definitely close enough to effect a steal, and somehow managed to epically fail on both a right-handed and then left-handed swipe at the ball. It’s not often you get a steal attempt with both hands and still fuck it up.

3. Luol Deng – Still can’t figure out what the hell he was trying to do here. Comes over to the middle of the key waving his hands like a lunatic and then suddenly stops, sideways to the basket, as if he’s trying to prevent Wade from driving directly to the sideline. Does more hand waving as Wade throws his shot up. At no stage during this play was Luol Deng remotely close to do anything defensive.

4. Kirk Hinrich – Physically, expended the least effort out of all his teammates in trying to stop Dwyane Wade, which is kinda disappointing for a player who’s been on an All Defensive team. In fact, if you watch it again, you’ll realise Hinrich’s decision to plant himself two feet to the right of the basket only makes it easier for Wade to find his path. Also, notice how rigid and straight up his arms are, pointing right to the sky. Fantastic if you’re finishing a gymnastics routine. Fucking useless for playing defense.

5. Brad Miller – Poor Brad Miller. As usual, it’s the guy on the last line of defense who his team is relying on. And as usual, it’s that guy that ends up on the poster. Was probably expecting that Luol Deng would actually do something, and that Kirk Hinrich wouldn’t morph into a traffic cone. So what was Miller supposed to do in a situation like that? What any great big man defender would do. Flog the bloke. You think KG would have let someone like Wade embarrass his entire team and then let him finish at the rim with a fancy double-clutch layup? Bullshit. He would have slammed into him at the hips and sent him flying. And Wade wouldn’t have tried it again. Sometimes when you’re the last line of defense, defense just isn’t enough.


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