By now I’m sure you’ve heard at least one story about Ricky Rubio and his draft dramas over the past few months. His indecision to declare for the draft, the disagreements with his European club DKV Joventut over his buy-out amount (which he has to pay most of himself), and his bitchy whining about what teams he does/doesn’t want to play for. But today was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Today the HTFU Police came into the possession of some telling evidence. Evidence that strongly suggests Ricky Rubio needs to Harden The Fuck Up.

On Wednesday Rubio was scheduled to have a “light work out” in Sacramento, the team many believe might end up picking Rubio at #4. But Rubio never made the work out because he “became ill”. Jesus Christ. The guy is in America for 48 hours only, one of the few chances he’ll get to make a true impression with his potential future team, and he pulls out because of a sore throat and fatigue?! For fucks sake. Yao Ming was playing with a broken foot before the medics sidelined him for the rest of the playoffs. Kobe Bryant is playing with nine fingers. Luke Hodge once played an entire football game with a rhino horn lodged in his aorta. But Ricky Rubio gets flown all the way from Spain to California and misses the workout because of a fucking sore throat and lack of sleep? Not only that, but he has the nerve to take a pot shot at the Kings basketball home, via Twitter: “visit the Arco Arena … facilities are brutal!”. Facilities are brutal? That’s the way to make an impression on your future team, son. Bag the shit out of their stadium! They’ll take your earnest criticism on board, especially coming from a prima donna teenager who has proved nothing in his basketball career so far. Harden The Fuck Up.

Rubio had a chance to redeem some of his manliness last week when Brandon Jennings (God bless his soul) called Rubio “overhyped” and set the foundation for what could amount to a terrific future rivalry. This is where you step up to the plate and put your best trash talking skills to use, or at least defuse the situation in a smart ass kind of way that subtly disrespects your opponent while giving you a distinct testicular advantage. Rubio’s response? Silence. He had to wait for a former Italian League coach, Dan Peterson, to come to his rescue and return fire on Jennings. “Jennings is overhyped” said Peterson. “He has it all backwards. He is all about trying to dominate one-on-one, all concerned with individual talent”. Honestly, we don’t care who is overhyped, and “trying to dominate one-on-one” may be considered a weakness in Peterson’s book. But in ours, that is a sign of manliness. You cannot hope to dominate one-on-five unless you first master one-on-one. Just ask Ron Jeremy.

You’d think having missed the Sacramento workout, or having copped a spray from Jennings, or even the general fact that his draft stock has slowly sunk over the last few weeks, might have somewhat humbled Rubio into accepting he’ll have to prove his worth before gaining respect. Not so.

I come here to play and to play the minutes. I didn’t come here to play in the NBA, and (be) done. No, I want to be a really good point guard here in the best league in the world, and I want to have minutes. So I have to find the team who wants me, who really wants me.”

Thank you for providing that clarification Ricky. Now, take off your tiara and let me tell you something. You want to have minutes? Fucking earn them. Cut the whining about how disappointed you were with the draft lottery, or your disgust at the thought of having to play for Memphis or Oklahoma, or your hopes that a draft-day trade will miraculously send you to a big franchise team that will let you start for them while building a statue for you. Buckle down and prove yourself the honest way, the Luke Hodge way. You never heard Darko Milicic, a similar future-projected Euro Star, whining about what teams he wanted to play for or telling Joe Dumars the Palace of Auburn Hills was a shit hole, did you? No, Darko worked his butt off during several workouts that were so blindingly impressive he couldn’t live up to them again for the rest of his career. And you know what happened Ricky? Darko won a ring in his rookie year.

But we don’t want you to be like Darko Milicic, Ricky. Because honestly? We think you can be better than him. And we don’t want you to be like Brandon Jennings cos he’s a bit of a dick. We just want you to Harden The Fuck Up. We’ll put these few minor disgressions behind us if you do.


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