Where to start. Street intelligence informed us of a possible HTFU one week ago when the Cavaliers traveled to Boston to face the reigning champs. Check the “hard foul”:
Looks pretty bad right? Take another look, at the 43 second mark where we see poor Varejao on the ground clutching his head and face like a wounded Italian soccer player (the sport of Soccer deserved an entire HTFU for itself). Then, as soon as the ref’s whistle goes off for the flagrant, he suddenly bounces back up and starts throwing his weight around. It’s almost as if he was… I don’t know… acting.
Wait, Anderson Varejao acting? Has this happened before? Our research indicates it has, approximately four hundred thousand times before.
Pretending to take a charge:
Flopping while looking at the camera for dramatic effect:
Flopping as an alternative to playing defense:
Flopping on a freaking jump shot:
Flopping just because you’re retarded
Flopping when your opposition player isn’t even looking at you:
Flopping against Bobby Jackson (should never be necessary):
You’ll notice that in each of these photos Varejao isn’t just acting. He’s acting extremely well. These don’t look like bumps from the physical game of basketball. These look like the effects of an atomic blast shock wave. It’s hard to be that good at flopping. Coach Van Gundy once commented that Varejao’s hair helps his flopping ability, but it goes deeper than that. Varejao is a one-in-a-million natural born flopper. You cannot practice flopping and hope to be this good. You are born with it. Not even Kevin Bacon, a tremendously good actor, could match the dramatic feats of one Anderson Varejao. And for this, we wholeheartedly award Anderson Vaerjao well-earned HARDEN THE FUCK UP.