The latest round of the Blogger MVP/Roy Rankings are being hosted by our good friend mookie over at A Stern Warning. Go check them out! As usual, here are my full rankings.

MVP Rankings
10 points – Dirk Nowitzki: I wonder how often Dirk asks himself “what’s the point?”. The Mavs are doomed, they’ll get a low playoff seed and have zero chance of winning a title, the second best player on his team is an old point guard who can’t shoot, and the one young gun who could truly launch them back into title-contending status (Josh Howard) seems to be actually getting worse. I give it one month before we see Dirk stumbling around downtown Dallas mumbling “milk was a bad choice”.
9- Chauncey Billups: Billups’ numbers have dropped since the Big Dog Carmelo came back to piss all over the yard and reclaim his territory. But everyone is really eager to see how this Denver team fares in the postseason and that has nothing to do with Melo and everything to do with Chauncey. Also, look at how shit Detroit are now.
8 – Deron Williams: Welcome Back DW. Let’s look at those February splits shall we? 27ppg, 10.7apg, 3.3rpg on 52% shooting. I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you that no one else is putting up those kind of numbers right now.
7- Brandon Roy: Brandon Roy is like an ultrathin condom – reliable, penetrates effortlessly, and sometimes you don’t even notice it’s there.
6- Dwight Howard: With KG going down Orlando could finish with the third best record in the league. With Jameer Nelson out of action, this really is Dwight’s time to shine.
5- Dwyane Wade: Dwyane Wade is like one of the dudes in Voltron. Except there’s not five of them – it’s just him. He has to run around to each of the Lions with a different set of keys, start them up and fly them together to form the Voltron robot before launching on a quest to defend the Universe. At the end of the day he has to park them all himself, one in the forest, one on the statue, one underwater, one in the desert, and one in a freaken volcano.
4- Chris Paul: His inexcusable brain-fart late against LA where he ploughed into D-Fish cost the Hornets the game, and he continues to be Deron William’s bitch. As tough a week as they come for the little guy still having an epic season.
3- Tim Duncan: Tim Duncan is the only thing stopping David Stern from closing down the Western Conference race and punching a Finals ticker for the Lakers. He is that fucking powerful.
2- Kobe Bryant: I watched the Lakers v Hornets game. Kobe shot terribly in that game, absolutely terrible, yet I fully expected him to take over in OT. No other player exudes that sense of inevitability like Kobe.
1- Lebron James: It’s ironic that Lebron has been the #1 MVP candidate all season because of his supreme team play and unselfishness, yet only individual performances like his 55 against Milwaukee will keep Kobe at bay in the MVP race.

ROY Rankings
5 points – Mario Chalmers: I’m only putting him here to remind people that the Heat’s best rookie might not even be Michael Beasley. Everyone is forgetting about Chalmers but his production is a big factor in how rested Dwyane Wade is, and is thus mighty important to the Heat’s success.
4 – Brook Lopez: Lopez is averaging 17 and 9 through February so far – that’s good for 5th and 7th respectively amongst centers in Feb. That joke I made last time about him being a top ten center is looking increasingly less like a joke.
3 – Russell Westbrook – Russell has ramped up his scoring lately (third among rookies) and the Thunder are now as dangerously exciting to watch as barely legal porn.
2 – OJ Mayo – Mayo is facing the Kevin Durant Conundrum: trying to prove you’re a winner when your team loses 90% of the time.
1 – Derrick Rose – I watched Derrick Rose very carefully when they played Detroit and he did NOT look like a rookie. The Bulls are going to make the playoffs, mark my words. Rose has to be your ROY.


Tags: , , ,

« « Previous Post: How fu**ed are Detroit?
» » Next Post: The HTFU Police are in Town