Once I read this I just had to post it, if only for my Ray Allen-obsessed housemate who is travelling around the world at the moment. Scoop Jackson of ESPN spent his All-Star weekend asking NBA players “if you could be any other player who would it be?” We all know Ray is the most supremely smooth man to ever walk the face of the earth, but not even I was expecting this response to Scoop’s question:

“I like myself. I really love who I am.”

Of course he does. He’s Ray Allen.  He’s so smooth he turns staircases into escalators.  Most brands of lubricant are made from his sweat.  The slippery slide was invented after a man saw Ray Allen go down a normal slide. Thankfully Scoop is aware of all this.

“That sounds Ray”, Scoop said to him.

“It is”, Ray replied smoothly.

Thank you Ray. Once again you have helped reeducate ourselves in the essence of smooth, and reminded us all that no matter how hard we try, we will never be as smooth as you.

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