The Draft Dude is back with a heart-throbbing look at the 2008 NBA Draft. Make sure to check out Jobba’s mock draft from back in February.
Welcome back to an added installment of the Idiot’s Draft Guide. Truth be told, this blog was never intended to be made, but after repeated advances by Robd (not in a romantic way) to do so, and the simple fact I felt sorry for my Richmond Tigers destroying his Blues in Round 1 of the AFL, I agreed to create another one. But this isn’t going to be your standard Idiot’s Blog entry. No sir. This is my Man-Crush edition; my list of top 5 draft prospects who have infected me with the love bug at some point during the past year. Do note however, these players may not necessarily declare for the 2008 NBA draft, but they are prospects none-the-less (and my man-crush remains unaffected). Before we start, we need a sound definition of ‘man-crush’.
An intense liking of a male sporting personality by another male which:
i) does not necessarily infer one is homosexual
ii) may cause disruption and/or termination of pre-existing female relationships
iii) may cause symptoms of high heart-rate, sweating, and/or blushing while watching live sporting broadcasts
iv) can never overcome the natural-born attraction in all men towards Jessica Alba
So, heres my top 5!
#5. Stanley Robinson 6’9 SF/PF Connecticut Soph.
Stanley Robinson breaks in at 5th because he’s a Husky, and my team must be mentioned in any blog I write. It’s like how Bill Simmons can’t not talk about the Boston Red Socks, the LA Clippers, Kevin Durant etc. But, for me, Robinson’s like the hot female who’s keen on you, but has a high pitch voice which is extremely annoying and a massive turnoff. Then one night, she starts talking to you, and she’s lost her voice yelling at the inadequacy of the Carlton Football Club, and her voice is hearse, and well, a turn-on. That s like Robinson, one night he’ll just decide to get his finger out of the proverbial hiding place and dominate a game of basketball. Like for example, a 3 game stretch where he went for 15pts and 4rebs, then 32pts and 11rebs, then 6pts and 4rebs. Get my meaning?
Man-Crush Rating: 5/10 – Possibly ask for a number whilst dating another female.
Robd says: “He is much more attractive than the other “Stanley Robsinson” that appeared in my Google searches. Plus, he’s 6′9, and if you remove the single quotation from that you get 69. And as they say in Bingo, “69.. a good day”.
#4. Jason Thompson 6’10 PF Rider Senior.
Mr. Thompson is one of those guys who gets lost in the system because he goes to a small school. But the prime reason he breaks into my top 5 is because of the answer he gives in this youtube video to the question: ‘Does being a basketball star make it easier to get the ladies?’ To which he responds with an answer that ticks off all the boxes. One: I don’t consider myself a star. Two: I was good at getting the ladies before I was a star (contradicts himself a little, but I’m forgiving). Three: I’m glad I’m still single. My tip Jason – don’t go to Colorado.
Man Crush Rating: 6/10 – For some reason, 6’10 athletic and versatile forwards do it for me. I’d definitely get a number, and do the whole 3-day wait thing.
Robd says: “Anyone that goes to ‘Rider’ University is probably good in the sack.”
#3. Mario Chalmers PG Kansas 6’1 Junior
I immediately thought of the idea for this blog after a Wii party at a mates place where Mario Party was played, as well as Mario Kart and Mario Tennis. In which raises a question which I’d like an answer to: Mario and Luigi combined are known as the Mario Brothers right? So does that mean that Mario’s full name is Mario Mario? I can see why he’d want to live in a world with Gene Simmons-esque green dinosaurs, talking mushrooms, and some wierd falafel looking things called Koopa’s. Anyway, Mario Chalmers gets on my list because of the two things I love in players – defensive ability and the fact they play the point guard position. The guy has an uncanny ability to get into the passing lanes and create highlights for himself and teammates. And, he also has the tensed-arm-by-the-side-yell-to-the-fans-after-a-big-jam (tensed-arm etc.) down pat.
Man-Crush rating: 8/10 – One night stand ahoy!
Robd says: “I have a bit of a thing for 6′1 point guards who can throw it down like that… I can feel my man-crush swelling”
#2. Derrick Rose 6’4 PG Memphis Fresh.
It may not be a surprise that Derrick Rose makes the list, it may be a surprise though he’s not number 1. He would have been, and have a hold on the top spot if it wasn’t for the recent article that he has a phobia of needles – yet strangely has multiple tattoo’s. And lets face facts, whats the point of being number 1 on a man-crush list if your not superhuman? Either way, Rose fits my two checklists for the major man-crush: great defender and a point guard. To me, he’s Mr. Fundamental of point guards. Flashy without being flashy. Someone you’d have a long relationship with.
Man-Crush rating: 9/10 – Leave the female in whatever relationship I’m in at the time, and seriously contemplate settling down.
Robd says: “I really am surprised Jobba didn’t have Rose #1 after he practically buckled at the knees in his mock draft blog. But I can see the attraction. The whole “phobia of needles” thing just makes me want to cuddle him.”
#1. Russell Westbrook 6’4 PG UCLA Soph.
To some this may ranking may be received with the response of ‘Who?’ Westbrook is a combo guard out of UCLA. Once again, he fits the the profile of defensive stopper and a point guard. Whats not to like. Add to this, he has a Scott Pollard like fascination with his hair, and he is one of the most exciting players I have ever seen. Here’s two dunks (here and here) which help show everyone what I mean. Fundamental, Flashy and Flexible. The very foundation of the man-crush is optimized in Russell Westbrook.
Man-Crush rating: 10/10 – Let’s go to Vegas!
Robd: “That hair-do kinda puts me off, but as I always say, it’s whats under the hair that counts. Plus, that second dunk gave me a semi hard-on.
Hope that satisfies the draft front for a while (and any man-crush urges you may have had). Check back around the actual draft for Part 3, and look out for an Aussie Only draft blog which focuses on (surprise, surprise) Aussie draft prospects. Ciao for now!